37 Dodge Tribute Truck

Promo Bike


as the world was ringing in the new year, i was checking my bank account so i could make the official announcement on my midlife crisis. most men my age are buy the red corvette to chase the younger ladies and dieing their hair to get rid of the grey hairs, not me, i am spending my money foolishly to help market my books on amazon. being total afraid of motorcycle since i was in an accident as a passenger in my early teenage years and never sat or rode on one since. i wrote a rather large cheque from the funds of the sale of my equipment when i retired. the cheque was large enough that the banks took their time in processing it because they were using the funds else where. but as of last night at 10:03pm the cheque had officially cleared my bank account for john at Howler Custom Cycle to build me a 1980s Harley Davidson biker's bike for in the back of the 37 Dodge Tribute Truck.

37 promo 01

since i know nothing of motorcycles and do not care to learn, it is an "open" build for john which is every custom bike builder's dream to have the full payment up front and the customer not involved. john is to build a bike that will be in the back of the 37 Dodge Tribute Truck to draw the crowd which will sell books for me on amazon. Joey Barnes KoO Author

NN photos

since my Naughty Natalie book series is based on the mid-1980s when we hung around with the bikers. we hauled their broken bikes in the back of my 37 Dodge that was multi-colour due to the roll over accident in 1977 the truck was in before i bought it in 1984. since my first ex-wife destroyed all pictures of my 37 Dodge hauling biker bikes. i have to use a picture from the 1970s when the fellow who hot rodded the 37 Dodge before the accident hauled his bikes around. the promo bike will have the same style and lines as the bike being hauled in the picture.

37 promo 02

I used photoshop to whip a quick picture of me in 1985 looking like a 14 year old "Virgin" not a 18 year old legal adult in Canada. Since my DIEvorce left me with no pictures of Naughty Natalie. I used the picture of the actress in Gerogia who is playing the part of Naughty Natlaie for any promo for the Naughty Natalie Book Series and if there is filming. Note that i left the iphone in the picture to show it was not 1985.


now the funny part begins because 36 years ago i knew nothing of Harley Davidson bikes and my lady friends knew more then i did and will ever know. i tell the story in my 7th book of my writing career which is the 3rd book in the Naughty Natalie book Series Dominatrix School which i have cut and paste below.

Of course, when the salesmen seen the ladies enter the building, they are there putting on the male charm to meet and great the ladies. The salesmen totally ignore me because I’m just the 14-year-old “Virgin” little brother tagging along. The ladies have no interest in the salesmen because in their eyes they are male pigs who only want one thing and that is to enjoy their beautiful bodies. I just walk around the big shop to look and learn while the ladies try to ignore the salesmen and find the parts counter. At the parts counter it should be simple and pick up the boxes of the parts that Liz’s husband ordered that are paid from the last time he was home from deployment. Something so simple can be so screwed up when people do not pay attention. Plus, the salesmen are in the parts guy’s face and the ladies faces because they are super salesmen and just want to be around the ladies to enjoy the view.

When I finally arrive at the parts counter the ladies have several parts boxes open and trying to explain to the parts guy and salesmen that these are wrong. Being all male service people, they will not listen or put any effort in to what the 2 ladies are saying and why the parts are wrong. They treat Liz even worse because she is a natural blonde and they think she is a blonde bimbo which makes her mad. They treat Naughty Natalie the same way because they figure she dyes her hair black, and it is supposed to be blonde. As soon as I walk up to the parts counter all 3 males start talking one on one with me as if I am an expert on Harley Davidson bike. I know nothing of bikes and do not want to know because I was in a bike accident in my wasted youth. I have never sat on one since, but I enjoy bikes like fine art from a distance. Everybody encourages me to get on a bike because the accident was a long time ago. Now I am 18 years old and long time ago was 5 years when I was 13 years old. Then people point out that I was in 3 plane crashes in one year with the company I work for. I tell them that is different and on the second plane crash we had to taxi past the crashed plane to be able to fly out of the airport the next day to do a repair job in a rented plane. The crashed plane had to stay where it crashed till the investigation was done 4 day later. The males are all talking to me only and the ladies very angry because it is always beauty before brains in the eyes of the people who see them. I politely tell the male people that I know nothing of bikes and do not want to know. These ladies know more then I will ever know. That is when Naughty Natalie has to tell them that I know nothing about bikes because he is still a “Virgin”. I do not get mad at her for saying that I am a “Virgin” because these males are pushing the buttons of these ladies to upset them. Now if the ladies looked like good strong Russian women who could pull the plow in the field when the tractor broke down. Plus had dirty greasy hands from taking the Harley Davidson bike apart to know the parts are wrong. Then the parts guy would be all by himself at the parts counter because the salesmen would not be hanging round to enjoy the company of these Russian women.

That is when I had enough and spoke my mind as a 14-year-old “Virgin” which surprised the males at the counter. I said, “listen to my sisters because they know what they are talking about plus the last thing you need is my oldest sister’s husband coming here when he gets back from deployment to find out his parts are wrong”. When the “Virgin” speaks people listen. The salesmen disappeared and Naughty Natalie went to the other side of the counter to show the parts guy what the parts look like in the parts book. Naughty Natalie points out that the parts pages for these parts is opened to the wrong model of the bike. These ladies know the details of the bike because it is always talked about when the bike is ridden, or Liz’s husband is working on it. I know nothing and just call it a bike not a scooter because calling it a scooter seems to offend a diehard biker. Of course, the parts guy blames Liz’s husband on giving the wrong information but Liz is smart and has the original paperwork that her husband used to order the parts with her. She is smart enough to bring these items along because she knew there would be problems. The ladies were able to see the parts as different shapes that would not be found on Liz’s husband’s bike because they have polished it numerous times, so they know the shape of the parts. It turns out half the parts are correct, and the other half are wrong because the parts guy used the wrong model number and information halfway through making the order. He was said sorry for his mistake, but the ladies were nice to him because they do not stay mad very long which is nice. But that is why they checked the parts because if we hauled then parts all the way to the PMQ where Liz and her husband live. Then her husband returns home thinking he will be working on his bike in the dining room with all these new parts only to find out they are wrong. His day off to relax would be upsetting. Then he would have to wait till the next time he is home to install the new parts. With everything correct and doubled check to make sure and the ladies are happy. But the paid amount on the invoice has now increased in price and we have no more money. That is when Liz got out her husband’s credit card and used it to pay the difference in the price of the parts. Naughty Natalie and I both looked at her very surprised that she had a credit card. Liz says she is not allowed to use it unless it if for bike parts and bike parts only. The part guys spoke up and asks what if you are dying and need to pay for the ambulance to get to the hospital. Liz replied back, I guess I will have to die which she said that with a smile. Nobody in the store helped us with all the boxes because we are siblings and do not need anyone help. The salesmen stayed far away from the ladies for some reason.


Dec 26 2021 -- Hank Barnes Tribute Truck Build