Virden Cops

 

(rough copy)

Virden Cops

 

The Virden Manitoba cops were a different breed because it was the RCMP training grounds for the rookie cops that had the 6 week training course. These young rookies were out to make a name for them selves and would bust anyone and everyone. They took a big dis-like to Naughty Natalie and I driving the 37 Dodge. We admit that we pushed the boundaries having fun but nothing is illegal until you get caught. Once the Oak Lake Beach Resort opened up for the summer Naughty Natalie and I would hang out there to escape working if we were not one of our long distance driving trips in the 37 Dodge. The first thing the cops have to do was give me a “loud” exhaust ticket for the 37 Dodge. Back in the mid 1980s there was no fancy hand held meter that told the cops that the exhaust pipes were “loud”. It was the cop’s word against your word and if he was having a bad day you got a ticket. I had to take time off work and drive the one hour to Virden Manitoba from Brandon Manitoba. Only to stand in front of the judge and show him the receipt for the 3” exhaust side pipes used on the 37 Dodge that stated “legal for street use”. The more tickets that Naughty Natalie and I beat in court without paying the fine, the more the cops pulled us over. Then the head office sent out a memo to all the cop stations that these hot rodders are using bigger tires on the vehicles which makes the speedometer read wrong. This was a new cash cow for the cops because easy tickets to hand out. Naughty Natalie got pulled over in the 37 Dodge and the cop said she was going faster then she was. Naughty Natalie told the officer she was not because she was watching the speedometer plus I was watching it too. The cop gave her a speeding ticket.

It was costing us a lot of money to take time off work and travel to Virden to stand in front of a judge only to have these tickets ripped or thrown out. Naughty and I paid a lawyer for some advice which was not really good advice in the end. When we arrived at the fancy lawyer’s office for our appointment we were dressed like we always dressed for the 1980s. I wore my Heavy Metal Rock Band tee shits and blue jeans and it was a hot day so Naughty Natalie wore her tight painted on blue jean shorts and white tank top with a bra. The lawyer was not impressed with the way we dressed to attend an important appointment. But he did like the way Naughty Natalie dressed and looked when he viewed her as a male. What surprised him the most was Naughty Natalie had a brain and could speak in a professional manner. The lawyer told us to dress up as we are going to church when attending court and gave us a few other pointers. We both looked at each other because this the way we are going to be dressed for our own funerals.

When we drove to Virden for Naughty Natalie’s court date for supposedly speeding we wore the same clothes we always wore but she did not wear shorts that day. She said if things turn bad and they toss her in jail, the odds of sitting and acting like a lady are very slim. The jail guards do not need to see what colour my underwear is. Naughty Natalie stands in front of the judge and told the judge the cop was picking on her and the speedometer is correct in the 37 Dodge. Not sure what surprised the judge the most was Naughty Natalie’s natural beauty which the clothes she wears enhances or the fact she spoke like a professional not a blonde bimbo. She was holding a rolled up magazine and asked the judge if she could approach the bench. The court room is run the same way the kindergarten class is run. You have to ask permission to do anything. The judge motioned her to approach the bench so she walked up to him. She held out the magazine for him to look after she unrolled it. The judge was very shocked to see a Playboy Magazine being held in front of him by a woman that could be featured on the pages. I was watching all this from my seat in the court room. By the look on the judge’s face was as if he was praying that Naughty Natalie would open the Playboy Magazine to the centre fold to show him that was her. But when she opened it to the centre fold there was all the important papers for the 37 Dodge hot rod truck. Now the judge had a really confused look on his face. Then Naughty Natalie took out the piece of paper for the certification of the speedometer on the 37 Dodge showing it has been calibrated. The best $200.00 I spent was on that piece of paper because truck had to go to a shop in Winnpeg Manitoba. At the shop they ran the truck up to highway speeds while the rear wheels spun the rollers in the floor of the shop to get the correct readings of the speedometer. The judge then asked why this piece of paper was not shown to the cops that night. Naughty Natalie replied that she did and tried to explain the certification paper to the cop. Naughty Natalie then went on to tell the judge that the cops are busting all our friends with vehicles on the speedometer being wrong due to the tires size being changed to make hot rods. But the 37 Dodge is built with General Motor Products which most of the parts came from the 1969 Chevy Chevelle SS. That is why the speedometer reads correct and the certification paper proves it. The judge was very impressed with Naughty Natalie acting professional and being prepared. Her ticket for speeding was ripped up and she won this time in court. Which only made the cops upset because they will keep pulling us over and over till they can give us tickets that stick and we have to pay for them.

Donating Our Beer

We were on our best behavior when we found out that the Virden cops got a new unmarked cop car. Naughty Natalie and I were at Oak Lake Beach Resort and it was too hot to do anything even relaxing. It was decided that my classmate, friends and us were going out on the lake in the classmate’s dad’s boat which was always parked at the marina. We leave first from the camper known as “the base” and drive slowly to the marina which is at the north end of the resort where the highway enters the resort. I’m driving and make the left hand turn to marina with lots of time for the oncoming vehicle to slow down for the resort. Once we turned in to the marina and looked in the rear views mirrors of the 37 Dodge to see if the classmate was coming. That is when we seen flashing lights in the grill of the vehicle that was coming towards us is now behind us. The flashing lights in the grill of a vehicle means unmarked cop car. This does not impress both of us as we sit in the hot 37 Dodge truck and waiting for the cop to walk up the truck at 4pm in the afternoon.

When the cop arrives at my driver’s door, he is rude right off the start and does not let up. The cop has it out for us and we are both quiet and do not say anything because anything we say will get twisted around to make us look bad. The cop seen the cooler in the back of the plywood camper shell on the 37 Dodge and wanted to look inside. We never said anything and opened the little camper door so the cop could see inside the cooler. Once he seen it was full of beer he told me to put the cooler in the trunk of the unmarked cop car. Naughty Natalie just looked at me and smiled as I carried the cooler full of beer to the back of the unmarked cop car. Once at the back of the unmarked cop car, the cop opened the truck and told me to put the cooler in the trunk. I dumped the beer and ice out of the cooler as the cop watched. His eyes got very big along with Naughty Natalie’s eyes. That is when the cop lost it and went in to a verbal freak out. I just smiled along with Naughty Natalie. When the cop calmed down enough for me to explain that the cooler is my mother’s and all he wanted was the beer to drink after his work shift with his other cop friends. Plus the beer and cooler were legal in the 37 Dodge being in the back of the little camper. For some reason that made him more mad and he got out the ticket book. He wrote me tickets until there was no more tickets left in the ticket book. I think he gave me a ticket for the wrong colour of underwear worn on a Saturday.

The classmate and friends show up to see the cop is out of control. They were now my witnesses which I used in court. After the cop leaves with water from the melting ice in the trunk leaking out. We all head out on the lake in the boats. By 10pm we are officially run low on beer because the 37 Dodge being a truck with the plywood camper shell was the beer hauler. Donating that beer has now made beer in short supply. Naughty Natalie and I head from Oak Lake Beach Resort to Oak Lake knowing the cops will be out looking for us which they were. Naughty Natalie drives the 37 Dodge on the paved highways to Oak Lake then to the hotel bar where we can buy beer. We both go in to buy the beer to make it a faster purchase. When we come out of the hotel there is a cop car parked behind the 37 Dodge. We smile at the cops in the car and load the beer in the back of the little camper shell on the back of the 37 Dodge. The headlights from the cop car shine nicely in to the back of the little camper to make it easier for us loading the beer in the dark. Naughty Natalie does quite a few extra bends at her hips in those tight painted on blue jeans shorts to reach down to get the beer. This was to entertain the cops watching us load the beer. The cops knew we would need more beer because we gave the cop in the unmarked patrol car quite a bit of beer for them to enjoy after their work shift. With the beer loaded up I get to drive because Naughty Natalie has to be the control specialist to get us back to Oak Lake Beach Resort with the beer. There is no more money left to buy more beer if this beer gets donated to the cop’s drinking party.

I drive the 37 Dodge as if I’m 16 years old taking my driving test for my driver’s license using turn signals and full stops. The cops must have “just cause” to pull us over that is why everything has to be done perfectly. The cops think we are going back to the paved highway to travel back to Oak Lake Beach Resort. But the 37 dodge is a work truck and daily driver so we head south of Oak Lake on the gravel roads. The dust from the 37 Dodge on the gravel road keeps the cop car (we think it is the cop car, it is just head lights we can see) back from us because they can’t see where they are going. We do not take the direct route back because these rookie cops are from the east coast and just learning the roads around Oak Lake. In the mid 1980s there was no Google Earth or GPS to direct you where you are going. All you had was a Road Atlas or traveled there before. The headlights from the cop car are behind us in the dust because the cops are trying stay on our ass but I am driving legally in my eyes. The 37 Dodge handles well on gravel roads plus we both have lots of gravel road driving in the truck. I keep increasing the speed of the 37 Dodge to get farther ahead of the cop car behind us. Naughty Natalie as the control specialist was to be like a magician and create an illusion. I do not even worry or ask how she is doing as the control specialist, I just stay focused on driving. About ½ way from the town of Oak lake to Oak Lake Beach Resort there was a railroad line that crosses the road. It was not a major railroad line so the railroad crossing was not the best. Plus it is a very steep climb up and over the railroad tracks because it is just used for the farmers to move equipment from field to field. For the 37 Dodge to travel over the railroad crossing being rough, I use the steep incline to slow the truck down. Once the front wheels are on the rotten boards of the railroad crossing I put the truck in first gear and accelerate down the other side of the steep railroad crossing. Then take the truck back up to speed. This night was no different, it was up and over the steep railroad crossing and continued on because everyone is waiting for the beer to arrive.

When we slowed down for the railroad crossing that was when the headlights behind us were coming up very fast in the dust from the gravel road. We had crossed the steep railroad crossing and almost had the truck back up to speed. That is when the headlights we could only see in the dust behind us became very bright as if they were shining over the dust then there was no more headlights. Naughty Natalie and I both smiled at each other and figured it was the farmer following us turned off to go to his farm that was right there. We had hoped the cops got lost and returned back to Oak Lake and will come to Oak Lake Beach Resort by the paved highway. We have no idea who was behind and who those head lights belonged too. When we arrived at Oak Lake Beach Resort we Zig Zag through the cabin roads and came out at the camper called “the base”. We never travel directly to where we are going with the beer. At “the base” I make sure to park the 37 Dodge off the road and on the private property of the camper. Then the beer was served and we all relax and had fun.

About an hour after we started drinking to relax we could heard a vehicle coming down the road to head north to the Trans-Canada Highway. It sounded like the vehicle was falling apart and dragging lots of pieces. As we sat by the fire we could see under the street lights on the main road a smashed up cop car that was traveling slowly. The cop car was all damaged on the front end and the front wheels were shoved up inside the front fenders because the front suspension had collapsed. The headlights we not really pointing straight but everywhere else and the cop car was in rough shape. As the cop car drove by the group of us at the fire pit, we all waved. The cops in the car casually waved back at us as they keep on driving with no plans to stopping for anything. We were all having good laughs and everyone knew what had happened to the cop car. Naughty Natalie as control specialist worked the 2 extra switches in the 37 Dodge. Operating these switches was like being a magician and she created an illusion that the truck was farther ahead then it really was. She used the tail light dimmer switch that makes the tails lights dim so they look father away. Plus she control the on/off for the brake light switch. If I was using the brakes to slow down but she controlled if the brake light came on at the back of the truck. When the 37 dodge arrived at the steep crossing, Naughty Natalie had been using the tail light dimmer switch to make it look like the truck was farther ahead. Then any brakes I used to slow down did not show up at the back of the truck in the brake lights. The dust from the road was prefect that night and helped with the illusion. We crossed over the steep railroad crossing and Naughty Natalie continued to use the tail light dimmer switch make it look like the 37 Dodge was farther down the road. The cops being young with no experience on the gravel roads around Oak Lake. Plus the cops did not know there was a railroad crossing on the road as they drove along in the dust. They hit the steep railroad crossing at a great speed causing the cop car to be air bourne like the General Lee in the TV show Dukes of Hazzard. When the cop car came back down on to the road it hit hard enough to bend and damage the front end. When the cop car was high above the dust that is when we seen the headlights bright and clear in the mirrors of the 37 Dodge. With the cop car damaged they drove to Oak Lake Beach Resort and continued to drive back to Virden at a slow speed. The cops tried to blame us and we stood our ground that we didn’t know who was behind us and we were driving legally. How the cops drive their cop cars was their problem not ours. Plus they were driving too fast for the gravel road in the dust and if they drove slower they would have seen the railroad crossing sign and slowed down. Only Naughty Natalie and I only knew of the 2 switches and what they were used for in the 37 Dodge. Plus we never told anyone of the events of driving that road. We were on a beer run because the cops took our beer. If the cops did not take our beer in the first place we not have had to do another beer run. At the fire pit I leaned over and said thank you to Naughty Natalie for doing an excellent job as control specialist. She just smiled because I never questioned her because I treated her equally like the way I wanted to treated. The next day everyone had to go visit the railroad crossing to see how far the cop car traveled in the air before crashing. It was a record distance and most likely still the record today.

 

Coloured Gas

The cops figured out that we did lots of parts runs for the farmers who needed a replacement parts picked up right away to get the farm machines back working in the field. As partial payment for the parts run we would take gas for the 37 Dodge and filled up at the farmer’s yard. Farmers had coloured gas to show that it was for farm use only and not taxed. If the cops pulled us over to check the gas tank on the 37 Dodge and seen the coloured gas without farm license plates, they would give us a big ticket. Another cash cow for the cops handing out tickets. In the eyes of the cops we were are not paying tax on this gas that was for farm use only. This is how the government got Al Capone the American Gangster back in the late 1920s on his taxes. The cops would be checking the 37 Dodge all the time to see if we had the farm coloured gas in the gas tank but we out smarted them. Anytime the 37 Dodge was filled up with gas we always put a measured amount of the 2 stroke oil in the gas tank to add colour to the gas even if it was farm coloured gas we were putting in. Naughty Natalie and I stopped at a cafe’ in Virden by the Trans-Canada Highway on a parts run for a farmer. We treat ourselves to a sit down meal because the farmer gave us money for food. As we ate and watched out the window at the 37 Dodge in the parking lot. The cops were patrolling the parking lot and waiting for us to come out. Now Naughty Natalie and I know the cops will be looking at giving us tickets for breaking the law in their eyes. The Judas Priest song Breaking the Law became our theme song when the cops pulled us over. We played it on the pioneer cassette player in the 37 Dodge because it was heavy metal music. We can’t wait any more and leave the cafe’ know we are heading outside to get tickets by the cops. Naughty Natalie says she will drive which was fine with me. She just backs out of the parking spot and pulls out on the street to turn back on to the Trans-Canada Highway. That is when the cop put the flashing lights on which what we figured the cop would do. The cop could have waited till we got going down the highway to a safe area to pull us over and inspect us. The cop has pulled us over on a busy street and traffic has to move around us. Not the best place to be pulled over.

The cop comes up and it was the usual questions asked. Then I asked him why he pulled us over on the busy street which all the traffic coming and going off the Trans-Canada Highway. The cop would not answer my question and just gave me a blank look on his face. All he wanted to do was check the gas on the 37 Dodge which is easy to do because the gas tanks are under the cab of the truck for low centre of gravity to make the truck handle good. For the cop to check the gas colour he has to slide a clear tube down the gas filler pipe and put his thumb on the end held in his hand to create a vacuum. When the tube is pulled out of the gas filler it will have the gas from the tank inside the tube. The cop was surprised the gas tanks are full on the 37 Dodge. Naughty Natalie tells him they are always full because then we know we can get home. Now the cop is confused at the colour of the gas in the clear tube he brought up from the gas filler on the 37 Dodge. It is not the coloured gas for farm use only and not clear gas. The cop looked at me and I told him I’m colour blind and looks good to me. When the cop was going to call for other cops to help him out because this was not going according to the text book he had read a week ago. That is when Naughty Natalie confessed and showed him the bottle of 2 stroke oil that is mixed in the gas. The cop was not too sure what was going on because this 2 stroke oil is used in chain saws to run the little motors. Naughty Natalie goes on to explain we always add this oil every time we gas up because it makes the truck go faster. With that great explanation by Naughty Natalie the cop let us go and all summer they would be checking the gas tank on the 37 Dodge for the coloured gas for farm use only.

 

Out of Beer

One of the problems we had was the Oak lake hotel would run out of beer because we bought it all the parties at Oak Lake Beach Resort. Once the Oak Lake hotel was out of beer on the weekend we had to risk it all and drive to Virden to get beer. This was a very high risk adventure but we did it. The trip was quick and fast with no stops other then the beer vendor. Naughty Natalie and I would go in to buy the beer and carry it out because it was fastest way to get out of town. The odds were very great that the short time we were in the vendor buying the beer the cops would show up. They used to just park behind the 37 Dodge and wait for us to come out but in the end they would park the cop cars to block in the 37 Dodge as if we are robbing the place. We came out of the beer vendor carrying all the beer only to find the 37 Dodge blocked in. We can not put the beer in the truck or they will take it. As we stood there on the beer vendor property which is private property on the advice of the lawyer. Trying to think about our next move and wishing for a miracle to happen. A miracle did happen with a 1970s Mustang Mach 1 showing up at the traffic intersection and doing a smoke show by spinning the back tires to create smoke and lots of noise. A big show of power to go no where and destroying a set of rear tires too. The cops are just stunned that this fellow would do a smoke show burn out in front of 2 cop cars. Then the Mustang Mach 1 takes off just smoking what is left of the tires and trying to get traction on the street. The cops took off in hot pursuit of the Mustang Mach 1. That is when Naught Natalie and I load the beer in the 37 Dodge and head the opposite way we are suppose to be going. The cops will be looking for us heading back to Oak Lake Beach Resort, We headed south and did a 30 mile detour. When we arrived back at the camper known as “the base” everyone was telling us the cops had just left after patroling the resort. The cops traveled the main paved route from Virden to Oak Lake Beach Resort and we came from the other direction. Once the 37 Dodge was parked on private property by the camper known as “the base”, Naughty Natalie and I could relax and enjoy beers to relax. Three times during the night the cops drove through Oak Lake Beach Resort on patrol most likely looking for the 37 Dodge. But the truck was parked by the camper and trees hid it from view from the highway.


Wheel Rim Trip

A lot of people did not know where Naughty Natalie and I would disappear to because one minute we were around then we would be gone for 24 hours or more then reappear. They thought we would check in to the No-Tell Motel and do bad things to each other which mother thought that is all we did. We got the call to drive to Edmonton Alberta to pick up the big drive wheel rim for a Gleaner combine. It was the only one in western Canada and the combine broke the wheel rim in the middle of the harvest. For the 37 Dodge to haul the big wheel rim we popped the camper off the back of the truck. Now there was room for the wheel rim but now we have no place to sleep if we have too. We left around 7pm and arrived in Edmonton 12 hours later after taking turns driving all night. The fellow met us at the parts store early in the morning and was very surprised to see the old truck, Naughty Natalie and me who looked only 14 years old. We quickly loaded the big wheel rim and asked the fellow to call Brandon to say we are on our way. We have to deliver the wheel rim to the tire shop so the combine tire can be mounted on the new wheel rim. Then the combine will be back working in the field in 24 hours from breaking down. The trip is going good and we are watching the speeds and behaving because the wheel rim was very important. Every time we gas up we switched driving and sleeping in the 37 Dodge to make the best time. We have done 23 hours of non stop driving and only 45 minutes to the tire shop in Brandon and the trip will be over.

We are traveling in a group of cars on the Trans-Canada Highway on the east bound lanes between Virden and Oak Lake. I am driving and we know the cops are looking for us to make a mistake. As the group of car that we are traveling with gets to the area where trees are grown in the ditch divider of the 4 lane highway to slow the winds down. I see out of the corner of my eye flashing lights on a vehicle traveling the other highway divided by the ditch with trees which is west bound lanes. I look in the mirror is see clouds of dust in the ditch that divides the highways. I knew exactly what had happen and pull over at the first farmer’s field approach. I back the 37 Dodge down the approach to the farmer’s gate on the fenced field. Naughty Natalie now wakes up and we are not in Brandon. She is asking what is wrong and I told I think the cops seen us on the highway then tried to slow down in speed to drive in the ditch between the 2 highway lanes. I told I think the cop lost control of the car by the amount of dust. Her reply was “that is not good they will blame us”. It did not take long for the other cop cars to show up with light flashing. Of course the cops are all upset and treating us like Bonnie and Clyde the 1930s bank robbers. We told the cops we have to get the combine wheel rim in the back of the 37 Dodge to Brandon because they are waiting for it. Then the cop asked where did we get it. The answer of Edmonton surprised them, they asked when we left and we told them last night and we have been driving 23 hours non stop. The cops want to charge me with speeding but radar gun and info was in the cop car that rolled. When I told cops what happened they looked at me very funny. The young rookie when he seen the 37 Dodge he panicked and hit the brakes to slow the cop car down but he was to stay on the pavement. He hit the shoulder of the road which is gravel and he lost control of the vehicle and ended up in the trees. Then the one cop corrected me in saying the cop car rolled several time. But had radioed for back up when he seen us. That is why all the other cops were here so fast. I told the cops radar guns do not work through trees and we were in a group of cars doing the speed limit. I told the cops when I seen the dust in the ditch we pulled over because you guys are in a big hurry to bust us when we are doing nothing illegal. If we went down the road any farther then the cops might have smashed up a few more cop cars. The cops now had blank looks on their faces because I spoke the truth. The cops said they would be in touch with us later on as the investigation continues. As they were walking back to their cop cars and we were getting ready in the 37 Dodge. Naughty Natalie yells at the cops to ask if the Bonnie and Clyde wanted poster of us has her good side featured. The cop only reply was “keep it up and you will see the poster personally”. Naughty Natalie and I just laughed and smiled.

After that little rest stop with the cops we only had 45 minutes to drive to deliver the wheel rim in the back of the 37 Dodge. The 45 minute trip went quickly because I guess we needed a break from driving. The tire shop guy was waiting for us and very surprised that the old truck made the trip and very surprised that Naughty Natalie shared the driving too. The drive back to Oak Lake Beach Resort was so boring and tiring. Once back at the camper called “the base” we popped the camper back on the 37 Dodge so we had a place to sleep. Sitting around the fire enjoying the beer to relax nobody could believe we went to Edmonton and back. Naughty Natalie said no problem and we will do it again.

 

The Judge

It did not take long for the cops to served us a bunch of papers and give us a court date for 2 smashed up cop cars and a vandalized one. Plus a whole bunch of the other tickets. Naughty Natalie and I had to take time off work and drive the one hour to Virden to stand in front of the judge. Naughty Natalie made sure to wear her tight painted on blue jeans and I made sure to wear clean under wear in case we were going to jail. The judge was surprised to see us then when he seen all the paper connected to us he was not impressed. He first asked if we had a lawyer because this was a lot of papers and legal council is recommended. Naughty Natalie replied that we do not need a lawyer because the cops took a dis-like to us. We explained our side of the story on the cop taking our beer which was the vandalizing the cop car was the beer and ice dumped in the trunk. The judge ask for the seizure papers for the beer we told him the cop never gave us any like all other times in the past. I explained that the cop wanted our beer to drink with his cop friends after he worked his shift. The judge looked at all the other tickets from that day of dumping the beer and ice in the trunk of the cop car. The judge was not impressed. Then he asked where did all with happened and Naughty Natalie told him the marina at Oak Lake Beach Resort not on the side of the highway. The judge pointed out that is private property and I pointed out why did he pull us over. It was a legal left turn with lots of room between the vehicles and turn signal used. The judge sat there very quietly and was getting mad at all the trumped tickets and charges. That is when I asked him if there is a ticket in that pile for me wearing the wrong colour of underwear on a Saturday being colour blind. Then to have 8 witnesses of the cop verbal abuse that he said to us. The judge was not happy. He tossed all the tickets out and asked the cop who wrote them to meet him afterwards in his judge chambers. That made Naughty Natalie and I smile.

Now the judge was on the second stack of papers that stated we had done lots wrong. The papers state we smashed up a cop car in high speed chase. That is when I pointed out to the judge we went to Oak Lake to get replacement beer for the beer we donated that was in the back of the 37 Dodge. Plus we knew the cops would be looking for us knowing we need more beer. The cops were waiting for us outside the Oak Lake hotel when we bought the replacement beer. We were well behaved and used the headlights of the cop car to help load the beer in the back of the 37 Dodge in the dark. We left Oak Lake to drive to Oak Lake Beach Resort on the gravel roads to avoid the cops that would be wanting this replacement beer. I then tell the judge there were head lights behind us but never any flashing lights. Also we are on a gavel road so how can it be a high chase when you are driving along and minding your own business. The only time we knew of a smashed up cop car was when it drove past the fire pit with us all sitting around enjoying the replacement beer we delivered. Now the judge was getting very upset and closed that file and all charges dropped. The judge did not like the fact the cops were waiting for us outside the hotel vendor.

The judge now opened the third stack of papers and we started to explain that young rookie cop had seen the Bonnie and Clyde wanted posted of us and the 37 Dodge at the cop shop. When he seen the 37 Dodge traveling east on the highway and he was going west, he slammed the brakes on the cop car then hit the gravel shoulder which made him lose control. I seen the flashing lights then the dust in the ditch so we pulled over and waited for the cops to arrive. I told the judge traveling down the road any further would risk the cops smashing up more cop cars. Then the judge asked how fast I was going and I told him the speed limit and were traveling in a group of 4 cars since Virden. Plus radar guns don’t work through trees dividing the highway. The judge was not impressed again and I said one more thing. The rookie cop called for other cops when he first seen us that is how the other cops were called in before the cop car was destroyed. If the call for other cops was made after the cop car hit the ditch, the radio was destroyed so no other cops would have arrived. The other cops called in showed up when we were sitting on the side of the highway. I would like to know what is the reward money on the Bonnie and Clyde wanted poster in the cop shop of us worth? The judge was not very happy. That is when Naughty Natalie spoke up in saying if we push the limits and if they catch us fair and square we pay the fine no problem. But this is getting carried away and they are even stopping us to check for the colour of gas. The judge then asked why were we traveling a group of 4 cars, were they your hot rod friends that might draw attention of the cops. I told the judge we drove all night to get a wheel rim for a broken combine. We had been driving taking turns for 23 hours. Traveling in the group of cars gave us safety from the Virden cops. That surprised the judge who asked if we had any other encounters with the law on the 23 hours trip and we both said “no”. The judge recapped the events that we drove in 2 different prairie provinces and never got pulled over by the cops. We both said “yes”. Naughty Natalie then told the judge we have traveled lots this summer in the 37 Dodge from Golden BC to Minot ND with really no other problems other then the customs officer checking out my underwear one pair at a time. The judge just smiled at that. Then Naughty Natalie told the judge she was pulled over driving the 37 Dodge in Minot ND by a state trooper who could not believe she could drive a hot rod truck. The judge then ask Naughty Natalie how the state trooper treated us and she replied back a lot better then these cops. The judge heard enough and closed the file and in front of everyone in the court. Then he told us that he will chat with the cops who will then stop wasting everyone time on these useless tickets and charges.

 

The Last Run

That made Naughty Natalie and very happy and the cops stopped harassing us but we did not trust them. As the summer came to a close the partying around the fire pit was getting to cold to sit around. The wind-up party was excellent and Naughty Natalie and I drank lots to relax only to fall a sleep in the plywood camper shell on the back of the 37 Dodge. We woke up the next morning as frozen popsicles with big hang overs too. We spent the day helping pack up the camper known as “the base”. After a good supper we headed back to Brandon from Oak Lake Beach Resort. Being tired and hung over the 37 Dodge was getting baby driven and we just traveled with a group of semi trucks as entertainment for them and for us. Near the town of Griswold Manitoba the cops had a radar trap set up in hope of catching people speeding. When the semi trucks and us went past the radar trap, the cop car pulled out on to the highway with lights flashing and in hot pursuit. But it not after any of the semi trucks because the cop car is after us in the 37 Dodge. Naughty Natalie and I both agree that I was not speeding and I told her I’m not wasting any more time or money dealing with the cops. That is when she became the control specialist with a simple project to make the 37 Dodge disappear. The truck has to look like it is farther ahead. Then travel on the paved shoulder on the right hand side of the highway and fall back behind the semi trucks. This allows the cop car to get a head of the semi trucks and us. The semi trucks know what is going on because they watched the movie Smokey and the Bandit on doing the right side pass. The semi trucks will be all on the CB radios informing the other drivers plus this in entertainment for them. Naughty Natalie being the control specialist who has to tell me when to move over and when to sped up or slow down because she is in control.

Everything is going good with us on the right side of the highway being blocked by the semi truck. As the cop car goes past the semi truck on the left side we fall back and pull in behind the semi truck. The cop car can not see anything of us being on the right side plus the head lights have been turned off on the 37 Dodge. The semi trucks are just driving along like normal and talking on the CB radio. When the cop car gets far enough a head we pull out from behind the semi truck that has been used as a blocker. We can turn all the light back on. Now we have to catch up to the cop car with the flashing lights in hot pursuit which does not take long. The cop car top speed was limited to 100mph and can not go any faster but the 37 Dodge top speed was 145mph. We pull up and long side the cop car in the left lane to pass him. The look on the cop’s face was priceless because the vehicle he is chasing is suppose to be ahead of him. Now the vehicle has come up from behind and is beside the cop car. There is nothing in the training manual explaining this. That is when Naughty Natalie waves at the cop good bye and I kick the gas pedal down on the 37 Dodge to open up the 4 barrels in the carburetor and we are gone. Naughty Natalie as control specialist now has to perform an illusion to make us disappear which she has done many times. She makes the truck look farther a head with the dimming of the tail lights. We are coming up to a dip on the highway and the timing has to be prefect for the illusion to work. When we go in to the dip on the highway, the 37 Dodge looks like it disappeared but we actually turn off the Trans-Canada Highway. Then use the trees off to the side of the highway to block the truck from view. Once everyone goes by, we drive on the gravel road and travel to Brandon entering from the south because everyone will be looking for us arriving from the west. The semi truckers get 20 minutes of excitement in their lives as long distance semi truck drivers.

About 2 weeks later the cops are trying to say we out ran them that night and I told then to prove it. The license plate they were using was the wrong number given because on the advice of my lawyer I changed the license plates to get a totally different number because the cops had the old one memorized. The young rookie was too busy hanging on for dear life in hot pursuit to read or memorize the new license plate number on the 37 Dodge. Then the cops said we smashed up the cop car because the rookie cop lost control. Told the cops to prove it and besides most likely he was driving beyond his limits. The charges and tickets all disappeared so we did not have to travel to Virden to stand in front of the judge. It was an expensive summer and we learned a lot about Canadian laws. When people see the framed 145mph speeding ticket for the 37 Dodge, I tell people that the truck had no roll cage or seat belts. We drove the truck hard but with common sense and fear holding us back. We never got ourselves in to a situation that we could not control by driving the truck through or using the brakes. What we did back in the mid 1980s was pushing the limits but we had fun and the cops had fun too.

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