Training Mission

 

Training Mission


(rough copy)

October 2020

Naughty Natalie and I were asked to drive the ladies for a biker club member birthday party which we have done before. This time was totally different because the biker club member was being joined by members from the other biker clubs around. The reason Naughty Natalie and I were asked because the biker club is run with same rules as the British Gentleman’s Club all based on respect and they respected us and we respected them. This biker club is the same as the British Gentleman’s Club being well run and organized because most of the members are working class people or military people working at the Shilo base. Everything with the biker club is done in a professional matter and Naughty Natalie and I do everything in a professional matter too. We are not classed as club members or associate because we are just 18 years old and considered “guests”. Our friend Liz is a member because her husband is military and transferred to Shilo this past summer plus they have other biker club associations where they lived. Just like the British Gentleman’s Club there is the president and the lower ranks plus the management team. Naughty Natalie, Liz and I have no knowledge who these people are or the titles they hold because the biker club works in secret like the British Gentleman’s Club. If the biker club is doing an official function then the leather jackets with the club name are worn. These jackets are for when riding the Harley Davidson bikes because they are protection in case of an accident which makes the riders going sliding on the ground when the bike is laid on it’s side. When Naughty Natalie and I are joining the biker club on a ride in the 37 Dodge as a support truck because these bikes break down. If Liz’s husband and can attend then she will be wearing her leather jacket and ride with her husband on the back of his bike. But Liz does not like riding on a bike and I never asked because she could be like me and been in a bike accident and has no interest on riding a bike again. Liz will ride with me in the 37 Dodge while Naughty Natalie rides with her husband because she like bikes. Once the bike ride is over then Naughty Natalie has to give Liz back the leather riding gear because she has not have the “right” in wearing them. She only wears the leathers for safety. Plus when all dressed in the leathers the 2 ladies look the same except for the hair colour of the hair blowing in the wind that from the back of the helmet.

The only thing Naughty Natalie and I know on being asked to drive for the birthday party is basically nothing. The reason for this is because the cops are watching and waiting. The cops figure the biker club is moving a lot of drugs or illegal actives which Naughty Natalie and I see nothing of being young and considered “guests”. We have driven the party guests around before and had a good time with them because everyone was having fun but this time it is different. The only thing we know is that we have to pick up a brand new Dodge 16 passenger rental van van at the Hertz Rental place in Brandon Manitoba on Saturday at noon. Naughty Natalie and I are excited because we get to drive a brand new vehicle because once the snow came we have been driving my 1967 Chevy ½ ton truck which is a winter beater. The 37 dodge is parked until the snow melts then we can have fun again. All other times we have been driving a biker club member’s work van that is used move the work crews to and from the job site. This van was plain with no markings of any kind on it. We know exactly why the management team rented a new van with the name Hertz in big letters on the side because there is only on in the city of Brandon. The cops will be taking lots of pictures like they always do so having the only rental van will make it harder for the cops to photo shop any pictures. Back in the mid 1980s photo shopping pictures was done with scissor and glue because there were no computers invented yet to alter photos. Once again this is the British Gentleman’s Club being well planned and thought out.

Naughty Natalie and I arrive at the Hertz Rental place and we pull up the garage doors in the 67 Chevy ½ ton truck. One beep of the horn they open the over head door and drive in. The 67 Chevy has to park inside because the cops will be looking for it because we hang out with the bikers. Once in the heated garage at Hertz Rentals we have to unload the supplies out of the 67 Chevy and in to the new Dodge Van. The people at Hertz rental have never seen Naughty Natalie and I do a van upgrade as we call it because when they rent to the biker club then van is picked and gone right away. But it is in the middle of winter so we have to do the van upgrades in the heated garage. We only have the new Dodge Van for 24 hours and have a set time to return it. The Hertz Rental people will wash and clean the 67 Chevy and it will thaw out over night which will get rid of a lot of snow in the box of the truck. We call this good business because they get money from us to clean the 67 Chevy and we are happy to get the truck cleaned and thawed out over night. Now we start up grading the bran new Dodge Van and we have to hurry because we have set times for everything on this birthday party. First the fuse for the interior lights are removed so when the doors are open for guests to get in out the cops can not get detail pictures of who is in inside the van. They will have fancy cameras for taking pictures at night but why make it easy for them. Next the fuse for the horn the vehicle is removed because when people get drunk they like to beep the horn but it draws attention. A 5 gallon pail, puke pails, paper towels and flash lights are loaded in the new van. The Hertz Rental people were happy to see the puke pails added because in theory less to clean up. The last thing we do is put tape on the speedometer to mark highways speeds and city speeds which makes it easier when driving so the cops can not say we were speeding.

Now the most important thing we do is check the rental agreement to make sure the paper work has Naughty Natalie and my driver’s licenses added correctly. We also check all details on the rental agreement for the correct dates and mileage because any wrong details the cops can busted us. Inside the van is a black pouch or a large hand bag which has all the details for the birthday party. This pouch was left in the Dodge Van and nobody knows how it got there or seen who put it there. Naughty Natalie and I usually open the pouch for the first time inside the Dodge Van with the doors closed sitting in the back in case pictures are being taken. Also we do not talk because the cops can be listening. Inside the pouch is everything we need to make the birthday party a success and everything is well organized and in great detail. Naughty Natalie and I always figure a lawyer or accountant make up the pouch because they are always done so professionally. Plus when we hand in the pouch our paperwork is in order and well accounted for. On all our personal trips we had to be organized because we could not run out out money driving the 37 Dodge in Golden BC as 18 year old kids. There is a typed out detailed sheet which lists off what the birthday party is all about with a brief summary. We burn this paper right away because the cops do not need to see it. Only problems is we do not smoke cigarettes so we have to find someone who smokes to borrow their lighter to set the paper on fire. The quick summary read, the president of the biker club’s woman is turning the big “0” on her birthday so it is a special birthday party. There will be her and 13 female members joining us and we have set times to be at the hotel bars surrounding Brandon. The set times are on the sheets of paper which Naughty Natalie puts on the clip board because we mark on those sheets as well. This is basically a bar crawl where we stop at each bar and the women have a drink then on to the next one. This is away the club can support these hotel bars that they attended in the summer while riding the bikes. The new drinking and driving laws that came in to effect in the mid 1980s are hurting all the hotel bars so this bar crawl will be helping out the businesses. The biker club is run like a British Gentleman’s Club and this is good for business. But this birthday party will be special with her turn the big “0” and women from other clubs will attend because it is an upper management get together. We know our friend Liz will be attend because she said she would see us later in the day but she knew about the birthday party but could not tell us because those are some of the rules of the British Gentleman’s Club. Liz will attending as a new member transferred, the club will be watching to see if she is following club rules. Also in the pouch is sealed envelopes for each bar we attend because the club buys all the products consumed. The last thing they want is the women carrying money or identification which the cops will just love. Each envelope has a set amount of money in it the bar owners are happy to see it. The women will only consume less the $100.00 in products but the envelope will have $1000.00. But when the biker club is doing a fund raiser for the teddy bears for kids the hotel owner donate very generously because it is all good for business. Plus there is an envelope marked transportation which is for the new Dodge Van because gas and supplies for it are needed to be purchased. The receipts and the left over money goes back in the envelope. Also in the pouch is photo copies of the Canada laws and the highway traffic act. These have the important items circled in red pen because the cops that pulls us over do not know the laws and rules because they are learning. When the cops try to search the van or the pouch I will show them what is circled and what they can and can not do. That is why Naughty Natalie and I figured the pouch comes from a lawyer or accountant.

I never let go of the pouch because of the papers inside plus there is over $10,000.00 cash money in it which in the mid 1980s was a lot of money. Now we are ready but before we make the first pick up of these women we have to stop by a drug store. Naughty Natalie goes in and purchases an assortment of feminine hygiene products since we are driving 14 women around with no hand bags. Some women might not have counted 28 days properly. I wait in the new Dodge Van and familiarize myself with the van because most of the time will be spent in it will be in the darkness of the Manitoba winter. Naughty Natalie returns and opens the feminine hygiene products to dump them in the pouch. She then goes back in the store to get rid of the garbage from the packaging. We like keeping everything clean and tidy because that is the way our mothers brought us up. We arrive at the biker bar and Naughty Natalie marks the time down on the sheet on the clip board. The new Dodge Van has a digital clock in the AM/FM Radio which is a new feature in these vehicles. Now we do not have to look at our watches and press the button to light up the screen to see the time. She then goes inside to get 9 women for the trip. We do not ask names and study their faces because it is none of our business but we memories their shoes. That is how we tell the women apart because the shoes are all different. Once the women are in the van and the clock has hit the time on the sheet on the clip board we can leave. Naughty Natalie writes the time down with a head count of 9. As we pull away from the biker bar I wave at the cop in the cop car sitting there watching us. The drive to Shilo was nice because the new Dodge Van rides excellent and the engine has a bit of power which surprises me.

We arrive at the Shilo bar which is just before the main gate to the Shilo base. The 9 women get out of the van and go inside. That is where they meet up with the other members who will be joining us on this trip. Liz is there too and we chat with her. She is glad to see us and we are glad to see her too because it has been a whole 2 days since we last seen each other. The women are all up at the bar getting their drinks and starting a game of pool. I go up to the bar while Naughty Natalie checks the bathroom for curious people. At the bar the owner greets me while his staff attends to the women. I reach in to the pouch and grab the envelope with the bar name profession typed on the front and he smiling saying this really helps because payroll for the staff is next week. I just smile and we can not talk because people are listening. That is why Naughty Natalie and I work so good together because we do not talk and act as one. When it is getting close to the time to leave Naughty Natalie gets the woman rounded up and heading to the van. The time sheet is based on 30 minutes bar then 30 minutes driving to the next bar. But the more the women drink equals less bar time because they get side tracked and we have a tight schedule to keep. As the women leave the bar I check the bathrooms for clothes or missing women that did not hear the call to leave. This is why we memorize the shoes the women wear because when in the bathroom stalls only the feet can be seen. If we recognize the shoe then she is part of the fun trip. Liz is the last one to get in the van as Naughty Natalie and I stand by the door to assist the women getting in. Naughty Natalie quietly ask Liz about forgetting her jacket and the quick reply by Liz was “not required”. That is when Naughty Natalie and I look at each and rename this trip the Training Mission because it is not an officially biker club event with no jackets being worn. But the cops will not figure it out because their information they were giving it is an officially biker club event. This trip is more about giving money to the hotel bars that need the money at this time of the year to pay the staff because it is tough times. Plus it will also check to see how much the cops know and are will to commit in manpower to follow 2 teenagers driving 14 drunk women around for basically no reason.

When we first start out we are transporting the grade 12 class from school. Everyone listen and everyone has all their belongings which makes loading and unloading the van quick and easy. But due to alcohol this well behaved grade 12 class will turn in to the kindergarten class by the end of the trip. Everyone will be loud, everyone will not listen, everyone will not have their belongings which makes more work for Naughty Natalie and I but we have Liz along so she will help. As we pull away from the bar to head south to the next bar I wave at the cop car watching us. That cop will radio the cop in the next town that we are coming. The new Dodge Van rides nice and has lot of power for 16 people in the van. The women say it is nice and very surprised that it is so new. Plus they ask why the big Hertz Rental name on the side. Naughty Natalie just tell the women it is so the cops can follow us more easily because we do not want the cops to lose us. We arrive at the next bar and right on time because Naughty Natalie and I have done this before helping out the biker club. Liz is very surprised since this is her first winter away from the east coast that we are in the middle of no where. We all go inside and the women are served while Naughty Natalie checks the bathroom while I meet with the owner. I hand the owner the envelope with the hotel name typed on it and he is happy too because business is very slow with the new drinking and driving laws. The hotel bar staff serve the women quickly and enjoy the free pool table. When we arrive at the hotel bars, the bar owners unlock the pool table for free games and put money on the junk box so the women can have fun. These women are carrying no money or identification because it will be harder to identify them later on.

With the time up for drinking and having fun all the women head to the van so we can travel to the next hotel bar. Most of the women have been to this places in the summer with their man on the Harley Davidson bikes and they notice no people in the bars compared to when they visited in the summer. These women are working women of the biker club so they pay attention to these details. But Naughty Natalie and I do not say any thing because we are “guests” hired to drive them around. I do the usual and check the bathrooms while Naughty Natalie gets the ladies in the van. In the woman’s bathroom I notice a lady in the stall but her shoes do not matches any of the group we are traveling with. I do not say anything and check the other stalls and counter for lost clothing from our group plus a make sure to stay away from the occupied stall so that lady does not see my male shoes. As I come out of the female bathroom I wave at the owner and staff to say everything is OK and good bye. That is when 2 Buff Boys grabbed me from behind and spun me around and held me up against the wall. Then they were going to talk to me with their fists. The bar owner now has the baseball bat tapping them on their shoulders and told the Buff Boys to put me down. I did not lose the pouch and held it tight with my one arm. The Buff Boys tell the bar owner they are going to teach me a lesson for being in the female bathroom when the one Buff Boy’s girlfriend was in there. That is when the bar owner told the Buff Boys that this is part of doing business which you will never understand. Then the bar owner tells the Buff Boys that this young fellow has time table to keep and if he is late with all those women. There will be 20 bikers coming here to teaching you about minding your own business. Which is good business. With that the Buff Boys released their hold on me and I went out the van which everyone was waiting for me. All Naughty Natalie asked me if I met those 2 Buff Boys and I relied “yes” with a smile. The Buff Boys listen really well because a month later we were back at the bar driving some biker club members and they did not give anyone any problems.

With that little problem corrected Naughty Natalie marks the time down and off we go and I wave at the cop car watching. Now we are getting close to crew change for the cops which is when they will pull us over. When they pull us over then the overtime begins for them. We try to time it to be in the bars when crew changes happens which means less chance of getting pulled over. But we found a cop with 15 minutes left on his shift and pulled us over. Have the new digital clock in the new Dodge Van was nice for marking down times and looking at the time. The cop pulls us over and I make sure we are in a good spot on the highway if all 16 of us have to get out the van. The cop wants to see all the registration and rental agreement on the new Dodge Van which was rented to a numbered company and the signature on the agreement is unreadable. It is just a pen wiggle on the paper. Now the cop thinks he is going to be super cop and make a big deal out of it because this is all biker related and drugs are involved. But we knew this will delay everything plus we have 14 women that have been drinking and will be needing to use the bathroom very soon. I told the cop to wait a minute and Naughty Natalie will get a paper out of the pouch. She then open the pouch and starts handing me the feminine hygiene products to hold because when she puts them on the dash some are round and roll down the steep dash to the windshield. She then find the paper which is a page torn out of the yellow pages of the phone book and circled is a construction company name with the number company which the rental van is registered too. While I’m show the cop this paper and he is not allowed to have it or touch I’m holding in my hands along with the feminine hygiene products that Naughty Natalie passed me to hold. This makes the cop very uncomfortable being a man. Back in the mid 1980s these things were not talked about with men. Of course one of the ladies in the back of the van is all excited because Naughty Natalie has these products and ask for a couple to be tossed back to her. Naughty Natalie does not toss what the woman wanted so then the wrong ones get tossed back and landed on the dash of the new Dodge van on my side. That is when the cop had enough and said good bye to us and walked back to his cop car. We can not talk in fear of people listening. Naughty Natalie and I just smile then look at Liz and she smiles too.

We are late arriving at the next hotel bar so the women have to drink fast and the envelope is giving the owners and once again he is so happy to see it. We were able to top up the gas in the new Dodge Van between two towns that were close together so time it took to gas up was about the usual travel time. We have done this lots so we know how it is done. Even Naughty Natalie was impressed at the gas mileage of the big van fully loaded. She paid for the gas and put the receipt in the envelope then back in the pouch. As the women get drunk it takes longer and longer to get them in and out of the van it like any field trip with kindergarten kids. Plus the last hotel bar we attend had an evening crowd drinking and we were entertainment. Every town has the Buff Boys that come over to the new group of women that comes in to their local bar. They think they are king shit but they are really nothing. I look so young and with all these women, the Buff Boys will come over to act tough and I just laugh at them because I look 14 years old. Naughty Natalie and I driving around 14 drunk women and paying cash every where with $10,000.00 in the pouch and dealing with the cops every time we turn around. I just ignore the Buff Boys because they are the problem of the hotel bar owner because they are his customer and have nothing to do with me. Once the Buff Boys touch me or the women the bar owner is right there with the baseball bat to explain the rules of good business to the Buff Boys. If they follow us out to the van and still give us problems then the hotel owner has his staff handle it. Naughty Natalie and I do not worry about these Buff Boys because we have to deal with cops and that requires brains not fists.

We leave the last bar which is right on schedule and we know the cops will not bother us until we leave the biker bar when the birthday party is over. We think we are making good time until one of the women in the back decides that she need a puke pail and that is when the new Dodge Van stops right now. We knew this was going to happen because 3 hotel bars ago these women were served a meal because they have been drink for close to 6 hours and food is required. The hotel bar had the meal for them to eat in the cafe that was closed for the weekend and the envelope for that hotel bar was a little bigger. Naughty Natalie and I enjoyed the quick meal too because we have been going non stop since noon which is 8 hours. But the booze and food did not mix so the woman is out beside the van puking up supper and what she drank all afternoon. With the van stopped some of the women decide they need to use the bathroom. Some women can not swat and pee they need to sit on the 5 gallon pail and that is why it was brought along. This little stop usual adds a good 20 minutes to the trip and like the kindergartner class is it hard to get all the women back in the van to get going. Finally when everyone is back in the van we can get going. We arrive at the biker bar and the cops are watching across the street which is normal. Everyone is out of the van and in to the biker bar because why have been waiting for us to arrive. We have been driving and drinking for 8 hours and there is no communication that we will arrive on time. The mid 1980s there was no cell phones and we never stopped to use a phone anywhere because we always handled it and that is why the British Gentleman’s Club asked us to drive.

The one woman that puked is not in the mood to party any more and Naughty Natalie has to the work with the male stripper that has been hire for the birthday party. Liz will accompany me in making sure the sick woman gets home. Liz is more then willing to not be in the biker bar while the male stripper is preforming. Like she says she proudly married and I treat my husband the way I want to be treated. We do not know any of the women’s names but we gave them nickname for them and their shoes. We have a sheet on the clip board with addresses on where the women live but no names on the address because people do not need to know. Liz and I luck out the sick woman lives in Brandon and I have been to that address before. We head to the woman’s address and she is getting sick in the new van but the 5 gallon pail and puke pails are working well. When we arrive there are lights on in the house. Liz being drunk goes and rings the door bell while I get the sick woman out of the new van. Her man opens the door as I arrive with her and Liz is being funny because she is drunk. Her man helps us with the sick woman and we take to the bathroom where she will spend the night being sick but it was a good time. When we return a drunk woman we always make sure she is dressed and presentable. Plus will tell the man of the house that she had no hand bag or anything because being drunk they thought they had one with them. This saves a lot of time looking for something that is not lost. The man says thank you and off we go back to the biker bar. Liz is telling to slow down in driving because does not want to arrive and walk in the bike bar while the male stripper is still preforming. I told here I really do not want to arrive back either that last thing I want to see is something being shaken on stage.

We arrive back at the biker bar and park the new Dodge Van in front of the bar in the loading zone with the van running to stay warm for the women plus with 4 way flasher on for safety. Liz and I walk in to the bar that is closed because of the private birthday party. As we walk, we are looking way from the stage because we really do not want to see the male stripper. Now that we are in the home biker bar Naughty Natalie only has to finish up with the male stripper and then she can relax with me. But we can not drink because we are still working. Liz and I stand side by side at the stand up bar with our backs to the stage because the male stripper is not done his show. Of course the bar has mirrors behind the bottle of booze on the wall with shelves. Liz and I can sort of see what is going but in a reverse view. Liz thanked me for driving and taking care of everyone one and I thanked her for being well behaved because her husband asked me to “take care” of her. As we are enjoying the conversation the bouncer for the bar comes to tell me that the cops are outside in the lobby for me. I asked Liz to join me as a witness which she said no problem and finished her drink quickly. We leave the bar and enter to main lobby of the hotel and 2 city cops are waiting. They asked if I was driving the Hertz Rental van parked in the loading zone. I was polite and yes I have been driving it since noon today. Giving direct answers that answer their future question makes it a lot easier when dealing with cops. The cops now tell me that van is illegally parked in a loading zone and I politely say to them I do not think so. The cops insist that the rental van is illegal park and if I don’t move it then it will towed at my expense. I polite ask the cops to join me over at the old registration desk for the hotel when they had guests staying upstairs. At the desk I set the pouch down and opened it and pulled out several feminine hygiene products. Both of the cops were surprised and rolled their eyes and I just smiled told them I was driving 14 women tonight and one must be prepared. That is when Liz reached her hand in between the cops to grab a couple which she said was for later. That stopped the cops right now and they looked at Liz a lot harder then asked if she dyed her hair thinking she was Naughty Natalie. Liz politely says yes and smiled and try not to show how drunk she really is.

I then pull out a big brown envelope from the pouch which has a printed label stuck on. I show the cops and they read the label that reads City By Laws. When unseal the envelope to pull out the 6 pages of paper. The papers are stapled together and have items circled red pen to be read. The first item is the hotel applied and was given a loading zone to be able to load and unload quests attending the functions at the hotel for safety. The hotel parking lot is across the busy street and that is why the City of Brandon approved this. Next page was the details of the loading zone approved by the city too. The next 4 pages have more details and the load zone ends 30 minutes after the bar officially closes. Plus the vehicle in the loading zone must have 4 way flashers. Then there was an item on a special event being hosted at the bar the vehicle being used has priority on the loading zone parking. The cops are just stunned and wanted the papers which I told them “no”. They can copy the reference numbers down and get their own copies. With that being said the cops now turn in to assholes and want the papers. This is where Liz is my witness and I politely ask Liz did these cops turn nasty and she agreed. Now the cops want the papers and the pouch which I politely told them “no”. Then I reach in the pouch and pull out the laws and requirements which have been circled in red pen on seizing any papers including the pouch. They wanted these copies and told then “no” again but they can copy the reference numbers down if they like. This is why I have no use or waste my time with the Buff Boys at the bar. As an 18 year old I’m playing a high stake game of chess with cops that are learning as we go along. Now the cops are mad because I have out smarted them but we have been through this all before. The cops leave and I ask the bouncers to keep and eye on the new Dodge van which they have been doing.

Liz and I return back in the bar and the stripper show is over and the women are drunk and having a good time. Naughty Natalie is using the Polaroid camera to take pictures of the women with the male stripper. Back in the mid 1980s the Polaroid camera was the only way to naked pictures unless you developed the film your self. Just take a picture and watch it develop in front of your eyes in 60 seconds. The quality of the pictures was terrible but it refresh your memory of the nudity you got to see that day. Naughty Natalie is controlling the pictures taken because these women in the group are the upper management of the biker club. When women drink and have a male stripper things can get out of hand pretty quickly from being fun to the pictures used against you in a court of law. Naughty Natalie is only taking pictures of the women standing beside the male stripper in good taste plus she did not wasting the film cartilages for the Polaroid camera either. She is having a hard time keeping these drunk women under control plus it a private party so the only males in the bar is the bar tender and me and the bouncers coming and out. The only women are the drunk ones we have be driving around for the last 10 hours. Liz and I talk about going over to help Naughty Natalie with the drunk women before the male stripper has his manhood ripped off. We finall agree to go help Naughty Natalie and save the male stripper but we really did not want to do it. As we join them on the dance floor, Liz leans over to whisper in my ear that the male stripper’s male member is so big it is discussing and I agreed. Liz says she will handle the pictures and autographs and I get to move some of the drunk women off the dance floor and get them sitting down to order more drinks. The male stripper was so glad we came to help plus Naughty Natalie was too. Drunk women can be hard to control like the kindergarten class. The women want the male stripper to sign the Polaroid picture to them personally. We have a hard explain to them that tonight you are all names less. The male stripper can not sign the picture to Linda because that gives your identity away. We finally get things running smooth and all pictures are taken and signed by the male stripper who finally gets to leave. Naughty Natalie gets all the pictures of the women in the correct jacket pockets so when it is time to leave they will be ready. Naughty Natalie is exhausted with dealing with these women and she can not drink booze until everything is finished. It work out the a few Brandon women have had enough and wanted to be delivered home so we gave them a ride. Naughty Natalie was so glad to be in the van for a few minutes of relaxing time. The women show us the addresses on the clip board where they live and we drop them off. We make sure they get in the house and are safe before we pull away.

When we return back to the biker bar the birthday cake has been served and few more woman want to go home including one really drunk woman. Liz said she would go with me this time for fresh air which made Naughty Natalie smile because Liz can wrestle with the drunk woman. The drunk woman is too drunk point on the sheet of paper the address where she wants to go so the other women point it out. We arrive at the address and get the drunk woman to the door and her man answers it. He helps us with her being so drunk and thanked us. As we are walking away Liz turns around and says these belong to her too. Liz reaches in her pocket and hands the fellow the feminine hygiene products she took off the registration counter at the biker bar when the cops were asking about the parking of the Hertz Rental van. Liz hands them to the fellow who has a very confused look on his face. Liz then gets in the van and laughs like I was doing because most man have no idea and usually do not count 28 days. Now he will be thinking no bath and treat for him. We get back the biker bar only to find out the sugar on the birthday was a little too sweet and some of the women are puking. Oh well. We will just wait and bit then give them a ride home. The birthday cake ended the party which has last almost 11 hours of non-stop drinking. Naughty Natalie, Liz and I round up the last of the women that live in Brandon and drive them home. Each time we leave the biker bar to deliver drunk women home the cops that sitting across the street watching us all night get a big wave from us. The city cops do not bother us because they were mostly told to stand down because they want the 4 women going to Shilo because the cops figure they are the big prize. When all the local women are delivered home then we get ready to take the Shilo women home which is high risks. We have filled up the new Dodge Van with gas because we do not want any delays and not sure how much driving we are doing.

While Naughty Natalie is getting the 4 main women to travel Liz enjoys the last of the birthday cake and some good shots of hard booze. She thinks she will be back on in her PMQ in about 45 minutes. Naughty Natalie is having hard time getting all the winter jackets done up on the 4 women. The jackets cover the tattoos that are used to identify them because right now they have no names. Naughty Natalie has the 4 women ready to go the van all dressed in the winter jackets with no skin showing. As she walks by me she says we are never having kids which I pointed out to her that why I am still a “Virgin”. For some reason she did not smile. With everyone in the new Dodge van we head to Shilo with the cop car following us after watching us all night. We know they will not pull us over till we get close the Shilo main gate to the base. That way if anything goes wrong the Military Police can be called for back up to assist. I am trying not to drive fast because the birthday cake is not sitting well with most of the women including Liz. Naughty Natalie has the puke pails and 5 gallon pail ready in case any of the women have to puke. The new Dodge Van has nice ride that makes it float over the bumps which makes the women get motion sickness and start to puke. Good thing we brought the 5 gallon along as a pee pail because it is big enough around that 2 women can puke in it at the same. We are just about that the main gate to get in to the Shilo base and the cops all come out of no where with the lights flashing but we knew that was going to happen. I pull in the Shilo bar parking lot where we started this road trip almost 12 hours earlier. As I come to a stop Naughty Natalie opens the side door of the van so the women could get out to puke. The cop cars all surround the van and the cops think that everyone is going to run away for the van. What they got to see is 4 drunk women puking up the booze and birthday cake which was not a pretty site. Naughty Natalie and I are so happy that none of the women puked inside the new van. The cops were not impressed at the mess of these women but they have a job to do. They ask me 20 questions which I only answer a few and the other I show them Canada laws info that says they can not do this or that. As the cops are talking to the women Naughty Natalie is right there making sure the women do not answer any trick questions and makes sure they keep their jackets done up in the cold Manitoba winter. The only pieces of information on any of the women are the Polaroid naked pictures with the male stripper. The women are acting normal and behaving in the pictures. Of course Naughty Natalie tells the cops she took the pictures and could be a great photographer some day. The pictures of the male stripper did not excite the cops for some reason. Liz was still is van think she was going to die before puking. The cops asked her for her pictures with the male stripper that is when Liz got upset with the cops. She said that was discussing and his male member was to big and discussing and she is happily married woman. When we thought she was done we her speech she repeated again how discussing that male member. The cops were not impressed because they thought they were going to be making a big drug bust with known biker gang members and all the got was 2 young sober kids driving around a bunch of drunk women that are puking. The cops then focused their attention to the pouch we that had no paper work or authorization to search or take because I had all the papers with circled items. They kept asking who circled the items and I said Naughty Natalie and I. The cops had a hard time believing that so then I pull out the Canada law papers and showed them the word “red” written besides where the items are circle is because I am colour blind so I write the colour of the pen used so I know I used a red pen.

With that they had enough and we had enough too and told us to leave before these women puke any more. When we arrived the main gate the guards had watching the whole thing with us and the cops because we were only 300 feet from them. They ask no questions because the Military Police known as the MPs have been waiting for us. Naughty Natalie signed the 5 women in because Liz is very sick and I sign in with an over night stay. Now we have entered the military base and the MP are waiting for us and I drive very cautiously. Naughty Natalie was first to notice all the house lights on this late at night means the husband are back from deployment. Liz could not care less if her husband was home or not because thought she was going to die. The other women on the van just wanted to die too but we made it to the PMQ that we were told to drop them off at. We helped the women in to the PMQ and the men said thank you and were laughing at the shape the women arrived in. Liz tells us to hurry to her PMQ because she is going to puke. Naughty Natalie has the puke pail ready in case Liz does not make it to her PMQ. I drive as fast as I can knowing the MP are going to find us then we will stopped a long time. Once I pulled in Liz’s drive way of the PMQ she is gone right now in to the house. First thing Naughty Natalie and I notice is the lights are on so that means her husband is back from deployment. I do not think he will be too happy to see Liz in rough shape. We go in the PMQ only to find it terribly hot inside. Her husband is bent over picking up the food that was on his plate that was in his hand that got knocked off when Liz ran by to the bathroom because she had to puke. As we say hello to the husband we can hear Liz puking in the bathroom which is not a pretty sound. Her husband is wearing a sweater and it is hot in the house plus he is well tanned from the last deployment which means he was in the middle east. All the military husbands arrived back in Canada to a cold winter day so they have a good body chill.

Naughty Natalie does not stick around because she has to pee and 2 women in the bathroom is normal. The husband is right out of it with time zones and the difference in the temperatures and can barely stay a wake. He said thank you to me for “taking care” of his wife and I sad no problem. Plus I told him the MPs were no where around when we came back from the birthday party. The husband tells me the MPs will be busy with domestic problems now that the husbands have returned. Some house holds did not stay the same while the husbands were gone on deployment so there is a little friction. Naughty Natalie returns to say Liz officially pasted out from all the booze and birthday cake. But I told her that I have to pee really bad and this is the suburbs and the neighbourhood does not like peeing in the back yard in the white snow for some reason. Naughty Natalie says we will just put Liz in the bath tub and close the curtain so you can used the bathroom. All her husband said was to handle it because he is too cold and tired. Lifting Liz in the bath tub was not that easy but we did it. Then I was able to use the bathroom and not worry about Liz waking or seeing me. As I came out of the bathroom there are lights pulling to the driveway and we know it is the MPs. I go and answer the door like I have done in the past and it is the MPs. They walk right past me and ask for Liz and her husband who is now laying on the couch because he can’t stay awake. Her husband replies back and everyone is surprised that he is here in his own PMQ for the first time when they visited. All he says to them is leave him a lone. They ask where Liz is and Naughty Natalie said in the bathroom. The MPs check the bathroom to see Liz in the bath tub which is OK with them. Then they ask Naughty Natalie and I how much we drank tonight and we said none because we were driving around the kindergarten class. The MPs all knew what was going on and then they asked for the pouch which I had under my arm all night. I had to do everything one handed. I asked for the search warrant for them to look at it and the MP pointed out that you are not in Canada anymore you are in the military once you drove through the gate. I smiled and asked again then the one MP gave me a piece of paper which was the warrant which did not surprise after 14 hours of carrying the pouch. I politely asked if this is my copy and they said yes and asked to see their copy. That puzzled the MPs but they produced their copy which made me happy. I then reach in to the pouch and pull out a pen and ask Naughty Natalie if it is the red pen and she said “no”. I reached in to the pouch and pulled out another pen then asked her again if it was a red pen. She then said “no”. I then reached in again and pulled out and pen and asked if it was red and everyone in the room said “yes” at the same time. The MPs all have a puzzled look on their faces and Naughty Natalie tells them I am colour blind. The one MP says “oh great”. I looked at the MP who said that and told him being colour blind is not a disability.

Now that everyone agrees I have red pen in my hand I date and sign the search warrants that way if they show up else where I know these are the ones. The search warrant do not need to be signed but is covers everyone ass. When I asked the time that is when it was major confusion because the MPs gave me military time and Naughty Natalie gave me Manitoba time. Nobody could decide what time to put beside my signature so I put both. Now the MPs told me to hand over the pouch which I did with a smile on my face. Once in the hands of the MPs they dump the pouch on the kitchen table thinking there would be great amounts of drugs in it but they were so wrong. The feminine hygiene products totally caught them off guard and Naughty Natalie politely says I guess Liz’s husband will be sleeping on the couch for a while because no treat for him. When on the base Naughty Natalie, Liz and I act like siblings because that is what everyone thinks we are because Naughty Natalie and Liz looks like sisters and I am the little brother. Now the MPs are not sure what say or do plus they have sweat running down their faces from being in the hot PMQ and they are in full winter uniforms. All other contains of the pouch are well organized which is very confusing to them. There is an envelope that has Naughty Natalie and my named on typed on it. The MPs want us to open it in front of them and we both say “no”. Now they go looking through the Canada law information and ask me to circle something and wire the word red beside it like it has been done on a few sheets. I politely ask them to pick the red pen out the pens on the table to speed things up. As the one MP grabbed the red pen for me the other MP announced to the world that he was turning the heat down because it was way to hot for them. Liz ‘s husband does not even reply because he is the man of the PMQ but he is sleep on the couch in his sweater and lots of blankets to stay warm. As I am circling the few items and printing the word red beside the item. Naughty Natalie says it is too hot in here too and slowly removes the knitted sweater she has worn all day. For the first in almost 24 hours I get to see her cleavage in the white tank top she was wearing under the sweater. These cold Manitoba winters has the ladies wearing lots of clothes to stay warm. The MP sure enjoy the view of Naughty Natalie in the white tank top compared to the sweater.

As the MP focus as best they can on the items I have circled in red, Naughty Natalie now cranks up the heat in the PMQ which will make the MP sweat more in their uniforms. The MPs are impressed because the word red written in red pen is the same in all the pages and forms. They are having a hard time believing that an 18 year kid that looks 14 years old has all this information that only a lawyer or accountant would know about. All other writing in blue pen was done by Naughty Natalie when she put money in and out for gas and supplies. It is easy to spot because she writes like a girl. Once I said that she was mad because I called her a girl and I replied back that now you know how I feel when you call me a boy. The MPs ask us to quit fighting like brother and sister. I said OK a but she started it and Naughty Natalie said the word “fine” then did not saying anything after that. Then the MPs both looked at us and shook their heads. The next question the MP s asked where the clip board and papers we were seen carrying. Naughty Natalie replied in the van so an MP went to the van to get the clip boards but returned and saying the interior light in the new van did not come on when he opened the door. I told him the van is a Dodge so that will explain why the interior light did not come on. The MP went back out using a flash light and came back with the clip boards but no papers. They asked where the papers that were on the clip board said we did not know. I explained to them all the papers are here on the kitchen table. Once again the MP said he is turning the heat down because it is too hot in here and plus who was the person that turned it back. Naughty Natalie said she turned the heat back up because she did not want to get too nippley in here for her. The MPs all agreed. The MPs are still confused and all we said we drove some women on a bar crawl to have fun like we have done in the past. They asked the women’s names and I told them they are customers and we known nothing of them. Naughty Natalie then ask the one MP what was the name of the fellow you arrested at 3pm last Tuesday which he could not remember. Then she said why should we have to remember. I politely told the MPs we have to go to bed because we have to return the Hertz Rental van because it is only rented for 24 hours. They all agreed because they had nothing on us and the warrant was pretty limited. Plus Naughty Natalie was teasing me with her cleavage on the kitchen table as she was leaning over to look at the papers. But I’m the little brother so I can not really look.

The MPs left and the we could finally have a beer to relax after a hard day dealing with kindergarten kids. But we do not talk about anything because they could be listening . Naughty Natalie used her lady hand to find the hidden zipper in the pouch that opens up the hidden compartment on the pouch. My fingers are too big to do it. This pouch was made at a leather shop in Brandon for this purpose only. In the hidden compartment Naughty Natalie hid the trip sheets and other detailed information plus the addresses where we went. She organize the pouch and keep the lady products out for Liz but she made the mistake of leaving them on the bathroom counter. When Liz’s husband seen them on visit to the bathroom he thought to himself no treat for him because he can not count 28 days when he does not know which country he is in or what day it is. Naughty Natalie and I just went to bed in Liz’s bed after a couple of beers because we were so tired and the beers helped close out eyes. We woke up in the morning to find Liz and her husband sleeping together on the couch both of them were in rough shape. We had a quick shower and headed back to Brandon because have a certain time to meet at Hertz Rental to return the new Dodge Van. It was best to leave Liz and her husband to enjoy some quiet time together. Naughty Natalie whispered in Liz’s ear that her husband might think what is on the bathroom counter will be no treat for him. Liz just smiled which I think it hurt her head with the hang over from the booze she drank.

We arrive at the rental place and they opened the garage door and we drove in. There was my 67 Chevy sitting in the heat garage all nice and clean. We cleaned out the Hertz Rental van and the fellow was very pleased at how clean it was. Plus the puke and pee pails worked good too. We left the pouch right where we found in the van and we took the envelope that had our names on it because the job was officially completed so we can take our pay. This job was a good paying job because our pay-cheques get smaller in the winter time with no over time. Plus our costs of living goes up in the winter and being 18 years old we figured it out never say “no” to work that pays. Once in the 67 Chevy we went straight to the little apartment to relax because that was long day & night dealing with the kindergarten kids. As we cuddle on the bed Naughty Natalie asks me if I was worried about her around the male stripper and I said back to her “love is trust” and I trust you. Of course she just smiles because her question has been answered.


Liz shows up the next weekend to stay the weekend and she never says anything about her husband because that is the way her marriage works. Plus we never ask because it is none of our business. When we wake up Saturday morning Liz tells us not to eat anything of course we being younger do not question the older woman. All she would say is we are going out for lunch and she is buying. Now that made us happy and surprised us too. We get ready and Liz goes to the bedroom to get her jacket but Naughty Natalie points out that her winter jackets is out by the door. When Liz came back she was wear her leather biker club jacket. Naughty Natalie and I both said at the same time “we think it a little cold for that thin leather jacket”. All Liz said back to us was “she is the blonde one not you guys”. Then she put her winter jacket over top of the leather one and off we went. We are in the 67 Chevy and Liz tells us to head to the biker bar and that is when Naughty Natalie and I said at the same time that we can not eat the greasey food. Liz told us not worry when it is free you will eat anything which is true. We arrive at the biker bar and there is nobody parked in the parking lot and the place does not look busy for noon on a Saturday. We follow Liz in to the bar and was surprised they had all the lights on it was bright in the bar. It is usually always dark and once I looked around to see how rough the old hotel was that when I think it is better to leave the lights turned down. The junk box is playing rather loud for us but everyone in the bar is wearing full leather jackets or vests with the club patches on. There are 4 different club jackets there and they are guests that we were supposed be driving last weekend but we knew it was was a Training Mission. Since we are not really suppose to be at this function along with Liz because this is a higher up management meeting. But we got invited as guests that made us all feel good. We have to sit at our own table which is OK and of course Naughty Natalie has to point us they can not count because 3 of us and 4 place settings. The food is catered in so who ever is watching the biker bar for active they don’t see the kitchen cooking a bunch of food for people not in the cafe part. When the food was served they put 4 plates down in front of 3 of us and of course we all claimed the food on the fourth plate because it was good. Then Liz’s husband sat done and said not to touch his food. That surprised Liz big time and she was so happy and was hugging her husband. Naughty Natalie and I were so happy for her because he has not been around much. Just when we finished our deserts a fellow and his woman came over to say thank you because she was one of the women from the birthday party last weekend. The music is loud in the bar so outsiders can not hear what is going on. Any talking is done leaning over and talking in the persons ear. This is all new for Naughty Natalie and I so we are very quiet to watch and learn. Liz says that we will be leaving soon because the British Gentleman’s Club meeting will be starting soon. Liz thought her husband would be coming home with her and he said sorry and has to do business that made Liz very upset but she was thankful he spent some time with her. Her husband tells her that Joey will “take care” of her. That made her smile as long with Naughty Natalie and me. As we are leaving through the crowd with everyone is wearing their leather. This well dress man stop both Naughty Natalie and I and leans over to talk in both of our ears. All he says is that he is the “pouch maker”. I reply back “the lawyer”. The only thing he said next was “I could not believe how organized and professional we are for being so young”. We thanked him and he grabbed each of hands he put something in the palm of our hands and then said good bye. Naughty Naughty and I just closed our hands and walked out with Liz. When we got the 67 Chevy that is when we opened our hands and to $1000.00 each. We were so happy to see that because we have rent and truck insurance to pay. Liz was all depress about not spending more time with her husband. We decided to celebrate and bought booze to drink in the little apartment. Next thing we knew we had over served our selves and did not go to the biker bar that Saturday. We needed a good relax time which sure felt good.

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