Small But Ample


(rough copy)

Small But Ample

I had just arrived back in the Kingdom from checking my mail on a Friday afternoon. I was sitting in my office chair Boo Hooing because there was no cheques in the mail again. The bank account was empty plus I had no empty beer bottles to cash in for extra income to make it through these tough times. As I sat there thinking of how I let so many companies whom I have done work for with the promise that they would be sending a cheque in the mail. Every time money gets tight I swear when I do business it will be cash up front because it costs a lot of money to have no money. The banks make more money out of bouncing a cheque or an authorized payments then letting the overdraft handle it. Oh well, the big business get rich while I have to work harder. With doom and gloom on my mind I was surprised when the phone rang and call displayed showed a familiar number not a collection agent or telemarketers.

I answered the phone quickly because it was my ex-fiance and she might be inviting me to the No-Tell Motel for a weekend of fun. She tells me she is on her way to a Snow Lake to work for the weekend as a cop. Oh my, is all I had to say because I went out with her as a mother of four not as a cop. But she does invite me down to spend the weekend with her in Snow Lake and promises to pull me over on the highway as I enter town as a cop to welcome me. The thought of her pulling me over in my vehicle, then handcuffing me and tossing me in the back of the police car does not excite me for some reason. It brings back too many memories of my wasted youth. I thank her politely for the invite but I would have said yes if it was an invite to the No-Tell Motel. Playing cops and robbers at the No-Tell Motel is a lot of fun with real handcuffs. Not like the handcuffs we had when growing up as kids playing the same game.

With that she hung up the phone, a few seconds later my email account received a message from her. I clicked on the email message to find a picture of her driving her Nissan car that she took right after she hung up the phone on me. In her message she says the attached pictures show what you are going to be missing this weekend. Of course I’m a man and have to look at the pictures. She quickly snapped a couple of pictures showing her full figured breasts with a couple of buttons on her blouse undone to show more cleavage then usual. As I look at these pictures thinking that her phone takes better pictures then my digital camera. She has a phone that can do everything because she now lives in the south. I have chosen to live in the Great White North and my phone is still plugged in the wall outlet and I have a camera to take pictures which has a cord to upload the pictures to my huge obsolete computer. Another email comes in from her with the same message on what I’m missing. I click on the attachment to look at the pictures only to find the blouse has now been unbuttoned all the way and the bra has been undone too. Once again I say “oh my” and look at the pictures. It is not the bare full figured breasts that have my attention but it is how quickly she can undo the bra. It must be one of those front clasp bras because how can she drive and reach behind her back to undo her bra??

With that my phone rings and it is her asking me how I like the pictures. Being a man I know she does not have her glasses on and the screen is too small on her phone to see the details. I tell her the pictures came through blurry because she is driving and taking pictures at the same time. She says no problem and hangs up the phone again on me. Within a few seconds my email account “bings” to let me know that a new message has arrived. I click on the new message and then click on the attachments which are even better pictures from her. I now have a big smile on my face because these are really good pictures that should be in the pages of Playboy Magazine. To think I was having a bad day then things turn right around for me. I click on one of the pictures from her and she had the camera above her shoulder to take a picture of her full figured breast with a very perky nipple. But the back ground of the picture shows the dash of her Nissan car with the speedometer needle pointing to 125kmph. This speed is 35kmph above the posted speed limit. Ok, there are a lot of rules being broken here with talking on a non hands free cell phone, undressing while driving and speeding. The things women will do to spend some quality time in the bedroom. I guess women are like men and have needs too. As I sit in my office chair enjoying the pictures and thinking of the good time I would have at the No-Tell Motel this weekend with her. My phone rings and she wants me to give her a yes or no answer on driving down to meet up with her. I pause before I reply to her question. I say yes but I have no money because nobody is paying their invoices I have sent them. With that she calls me a loser then tells me to get a real job before she hangs up the phone. Oh well! It is not the first time I have struck out with her and head out side to work on my customers repairs. Once these projects are complete they will be held until paid in cash.

I come in to the house around 8pm after working my usual 12 hour day in the Kingdom. First thing I do is check my messages in hopes that my ex-fiance has changed her mind which I doubt. There is no message from her but another lady friend has sent me a message wanting to call the Kingdom again. This is my new lady friend and she has been emailing and phoning the Kingdom for the last month. Since I’m on TV, I have to check out anyone that wants to be my friend or anything to do with me. I have to do this because there are a lot of crazy people out there and I don’t want them showing up at my door step at 3am. I ask my new lady friend to call me after I have a quick bath with my rubber ducky with the big lips. She says no problem and will give me 15 minutes before she calls the Kingdom. I have a quick bath and get ready for my new lady friend to call. Of course she calls right on time which I like in a lady. We do the usual chatting on the phone as if we are teenagers again. I tell her about my bad day and she says she can cheer me up but she lives 1200kms away in Winnipeg. She tells me on the phone to check my email and sure enough there is an email from her. The message says to check the pictures attached. Since we are still talking on the phone I thank her for the email and click on the attached pictures.

To my surprise she had taken some pictures of herself after shopping at Discreet Boutique in Winnipeg which is one of my favorite places to visit on a trip south next the Keg for a steak dinner. She goes on to tell me she picked up this outfit today because it was Friday and she left work early to do some shopping. She also tells me that buying this outfit will encourage me to travel south to meet her at the No-Tell Motel. I checked this lady out pretty good on Facebook and through friends to make sure she is not after me for my money when I have money. I go on to ask her about the outfit and she tells me she tried on several to make her full figure look just right for when we meet. The outfit she had bought today I had seen it in the store the last time I was south and it was around $500.00. She then emails me a couple of pictures of the boots she bought to go with the outfit. The boots were really nice in the pictures because they were 6” knee high black leather boots that I write about in my second book. I quickly notice that the boots have a zipper down the side for easy removal. My new lady friend has read my books and points this out that I will have no trouble removing these boots when I come down for a visit. These are very nice boots and a little pricey at $700.00 for walking around in the No-Tell Motel room. Next she emails me a picture of the garter belt and stocking which was more of a tease me photo. The garter belt and stockings are of high end quality which will take more then 4 rounds at the No-Tell Motel when we meet. We go on to chat on the phone as if time and cost don’t matter. She emails me more photos through our conversion just to tease me and we are at the point of almost having phone sex when the phone call is interrupted. A man’s voice yells her first name but a different last name very loudly which breaks the romantic mood we were having on the phone. This man’s voice is yelling at her and asking why she is dressed up like this when Halloween is not till next month. I’m now listening very hard on the phone to try and figure out what is going on. My new lady friend comes back on the phone with a clear and firm voice and says she is married to a lawyer and her Facebook page is her maiden name. Then the phone gets hung up which seems to be normal for me tonight with the ladies. I quickly check out my new lady friend’s married name of Facebook and sure enough she is married and has kids. Oh well I did not except her to be a virgin at the age of 33.

At 2am in the morning I’m sitting in my chair in front of my computers in shock that my new lady friend was married to a lawyer. I can’t believe a lawyer of all people. It is not the fact she teased me for a month and lied to me but married to a lawyer. I’m not sure how many times the thought went through my head about being married to a lawyer had me in shock. My guard dogs barking brought me out of the shock that I was in over the lawyer. I looked up at my camera screens that I have in the Kingdom to see one of my local lady friends having trouble walking up the stairs to the house. The stairs are giving her a good run for the money because she has been drinking. But she does make it up the stairs and I open the door to the house so she does not have more troubles with the door knob. My local lady friend is very surprised that I’m still up at this hour of the morning because she was hoping to wake me up when she arrived in the Kingdom. I then ask her how much has she had to drink and of course she says “not much”. She then goes on to explain that she gets drunk very easily because she is so skinny. She could hold her booze a little better if she was full figured. My local lady friend has had just enough to drink to be funny and keep on being funny. As she helps herself to the beer in my fridge which she is happy that I can’t drink for the last 5 years so there is always beer in the fridge. When I drank professionally by 2am in the morning there was no beer left. Plus I was in a deep deep sleep at this time of the morning too.

My local lady friend pulls up a chair beside mine in front of my computers and asks what is wrong. I go on to tell her that no money has come in the mail so I had no money to travel down to spend the weekend at the No-Tell Motel with my ex-fiance. I then go on to show my local lady friend a couple of the pictures that my ex-fiance had email to me. My local lady friend being very happy because of the booze pointed out those are nice big breasts you are missing out on. I thanked her for rubbing it in and of course she just smiled as she took another drink of my beer. I then showed her the picture of my ex-fiance with the perky nipple and the speedometer in the back ground. My local lady friend could not believe how fast my ex-fiance was driving for being a cop plus nice nipple too. I then go on to explain how my new lady friend was sending me these pictures of the outfit she had bought today at Discreet Boutique in Winnipeg. My local lady friend commented on how nice the outfit was that the lady had bought and asked if it was expensive? I told my local lady friend how much the outfit cost and she agreed it is a lot of money but it is worth it. I then went on to explain that my new lady friend and I were almost having phone sex when her husband who is a lawyer hung up the phone. My local lady friend could not believe a lawyer; the lady is married to a lawyer. What a burn that is for you as she laughed as she drank my beer.

As I sat in my chair making comments about a lawyer, my local lady friend quickly stood up out of her chair beside me. She lifted up her shirt and pressed her bare chest in to my face and asked if her “small but ample breasts” would make me happy tonight? The smartest thing I did was pause before answering this trick question she had asked me. It took me awhile to answer her question because I was enjoying having my face in her breasts plus the fact there is a 90% chance I could say the wrong answer. That will be 3 strike outs in 12 hours for me. She then asked me again if her “small but ample breasts” would make me happy tonight. I replied quickly this time with a “yes” in case she changed her mind in offering me her breasts. My very long bad day turn out very well in the end.