British Gentlemen's Club
British Gentleman’s Club
The biker bar was a great place to hang and enjoy the good heavy metal music in the mid 1980s. When people would see the 37 Dodge parked out side the biker bar of course they had to tell mother. Now mother had more things to worry about then me having sex with Naughty Natalie. Mother thought that the bike bar was like all the bike bars she had seen in the movies or on the TV. She thought her only son was snorting huge amounts of cocaine that was in piles on the tables and there was naked women every where that I was having sex with. But mother would only believed what she wanted to believe. The really truth was the bike bar that Naughty Natalie and I hung out was actually an upper class British Gentleman’s Club because of all the rules. Yes that is true because it all based on respect not like what the biker bars are portrayed in the year 2020. One of the first rules of the biker bar is you do not talk about anything that is happening or happened inside the biker bar. Everyone is well behaved like a British Gentleman’s Club with respect given the women. This what not a problem for me because I always treat Naughty Natalie as my equal and the way I wanted to be treated in return. Like all good British Gentleman’s Club there is no drama inside the club because it taken outside and off the property. No matter how drunk people got inside the bike bar there was respect shown for the bar and the people. If someone was drunk and threw a glass or started yelling that person was removed quickly because you never destroy property. Since the biker club used the biker bar as home base it was never called the cub house as seen in the movies. The biker club was run the same way as British Gentleman’s Club with everyone being well behave and showing respect to everyone including the outside people like Naughty Natalie and I. The bike club it self was not like other biker clubs because all the members had real day time jobs for a living but dressed in the same clothes they wore when they rode the Harley Davidson bikes. This biker club was not a weekend biker’s club where people dressed up and rode the bike then wore a suit and tie during the week those people were called wana-bees back in the mid 1980s. Plus a lot of the members where living on Canadian Military Base Shilo Manitoba which 20 miles east of Brandon Manitoba. Being in the military back then was to get a career because the pay was not that great. You could leave the military at a young age with the free training to get a good job in the trades instead of taking a year of your life and paying for the training at the community collage.
With these biker club members serving for our country, the biker club was run like a well organized operation. When they hosted a ride for the bikers to travel together as group which was not very far because the bikes back then were not very reliable. It averaged to 1 hour of riding was almost 1 hour of maintenance afterwards. That is why being a biker back in the 1980s was different breed of people that had to fix the bike and keep it going. Also too most bikes had female names because the bikes acted just like females with everything going good then the bike would quit and not start again. It was as if the bike said the word “fine” like a woman does and now you figured out what is wrong. That is when the bikers ask Naughty Natalie and I join in on these little road trips because the Harley Davidson bike fits nicely in the back of the 37 Dodge when the plywood camper shell was removed. The 37 dodge usually had enough tool or supplies to fix the broken bike on the side of the highway if not the bike was lifted up in the back of the truck. Then the biker road in the cab with Naughty Natalie and I. The biker would sit on the passenger side of the 37 Dodge then naughty Natalie would sit on his lap because the cab of the truck was so small and bikers are not small people either. If the biker was extra large and there would be no way Naughty Natalie could not safely fit in the 37 Dodge then she would ride on the back of another biker’s bike. The rules of the British Gentleman’s Club is never 2 males on the same bike because that is so gay and bikers we hung out were not gay in any means. Naughty Natalie like riding on Harley Davidson bikes but the clothes she wore to ride were usually the broken biker’s who was now riding in the 37 Dodge with me. The leather outfit were so big and baggie on her but she made them look good when she wore them.
A new member for the biker club arrived and he had a blonde wife named Liz that looked exactly like Naughty Natalie. This was excellent because Naughty Natalie had some one to dance with because I can not dance. I have enough rhythm to do the slow dances with her and that was about it. The new member got transferred to base at Shilo from the east coast so they knew no one other then the biker members for having the same interests in the Harley Davidson bikes. Plus the transfer to Shilo was only temporary and could leave at any time to the military base where they want to live and start a family and good career. Any time we visited them on the Shilo base Liz refused to unpack anything because she said once she did then the transfer will come through and they leave. Her husband and I got a long good because the same interests in mechanics but I do not ride bikes after the accident I was in as passenger during my wasted youth. Since the married couple was older then Naughty Natalie they seem to enjoy our company and we spent time together. When the husband had to go away on a military deployment which means no communication back home till it is over. He asked me to “take care” of his wife. In the British Gentleman’s Club rule book that is an honour because husband will not have to worry about his wife and any problems that might happen while he is away.
Liz had a job on the Shilo base which was Monday to Friday but nothing to do on the weekends. When her husband left on the deployment she caught a ride to Brandon which is 20 miles and stay the weekends with Naughty Natalie and I in the little apartment. Then on Sunday night we would drive her back to the Shilo base so she was home to work the week. The only problem was Naughty Natalie and I worked later hours so Liz would get dropped off at the little apartment and let her self in with the hidden key. I never thought of telling dad and mother about Liz being at the apartment. They went drop off a piece of furniture that they figured we need for the apartment because when dad and mother started up they had nothing. Dad and mother arrive at the apartment and have the piece of furniture at the door of the apartment and dad reaches of the hidden key. That is when Liz opened the door for them. Dad is now in shock because there now a blonde Naughty Natalie standing there holding the door open for him and mother. Dad is speechless but mother is not. With Liz being older and looking the same as Naughty Natalie they both figure Liz is Naughty Natalie’s older sister because they know nothing of Naughty Natalie’s family which is what I wanted. Liz helps dad with the piece of furniture in the little apartment while mother is gives a speech on these young kids living in “sin” because she thinks Liz is an older sister and might side with mother. Dad being calm and level head ask Liz how long she is stays which she replies just the weekend again. Now both dad and mother both have big eyes and mother has to speak first by asking Liz if she has a blow up mattresses because there is only one bed in the little apartment which a lot of “sinful” actives take place. Liz just calmly replies no I sleep in the “sinful” bed too. That is when mother lost it with one of her famous speeches about having sex and more sex. Dad just smiled and seem very proud that his son was sharing the same “sinful” bed with 2 women. Dad and mother had just left when Naughty Natalie and I arrived home from work to the little apartment to see the new piece of furniture. It was very funny when Liz explained dad and mother arriving to the little apartment and having her answer the door and help. I told Liz the next time you hear them at the door head to the bedroom and be naked under the sheets and use the sheet to cover yourself in a sexy way. Mother will have the best freak out plus dad will like what he gets to see. We all laughed at that.
As Liz joins us every weekend we include her in our lives and when we go any where in the 37 Dodge. If is me driving then Naughty Natalie in the middle which makes shifting in to 4th gear a little more interest but puts a bigger smile on her face and Liz sitting on the passenger side in the small cab. If Naughty Natalie is driving then Liz sits in the middle and enjoys Naughty Natalie shifting to 4th gear which put a smile on her face. As a man I can’t sit in the middle because when Naughty Natalie shifts to 4th gear if could ruin all family plans with the family jewels being hit. For some reason everyone thinks Liz is the oldest sister then Naughty Natalie then me as the 14 year old “Virgin” little brother. Having Liz around made it easier to buy beer being older meant less hassles because I always got looking so young. If Liz ran out of clothes or needed clothes on the weekend she just wore Naughty Natalie’s because they had the same bodies and look. With Liz being a natural blonde with eyebrows being blonde too she hated all blonde jokes like Naughty Natalie. If Naughty Natalie had to work then Liz just tagged along with me because sitting around an apartment was boring. On a Saturday I had to go and help dad in his shop in Alexander and Liz came along for the ride. As we worked in the shop Liz hung around with us like Naughty Natalie would do and help out. Then Liz said something about the PMQ she had and when she said that my dad knew she was military because military have certain words for certain things. Dad asked how long she was stationed at Shilo and Liz replied about 2 months. The Liz showed dad her big wedding ring and said her husband is deployed and Joey was asked to “take care” me. That surprised my dad big time because Liz was not Naughty Natalie’s sister.
Now dad has a very puzzled look on his face because his son is hanging out with Naughty Natalie and sharing the only bed in the little apartment with a married woman who is not Naughty Natalie older sister. By the look on dad’s face he was really confused so I told we sleep with our bedtime clothes on and we are adults and don’t have sex every 15 minutes like what mother figures. As Liz was holding her hand up so dad could see the ring and I just finished explaining to dad the sleep arrangement. That is when mother walked in the shop and seen the big shiny ring on Liz’s finger. Not sure if mother was more surprised at Liz being in the shop or the ring being so big and shiny. Before mother opened her mouth to say anything dad told her that I bought the engagement ring for Liz. Before mother is able to re-group and figure out what to say dad asks her if she likes the ring? Mother then is speechless and leaves the shop and we all laugh. Dad said once mother calms down he will explain a few things but not in detail. We finish up in the shop having good laughs about mother and a few other things. Liz and I have to head back to Brandon to pick up Naughty Natalie and head to a biker event. We were right on time picking up Naughty Natalie and head down the highway to where the biker event is to end at a little park by the river. The river spot was chosen for a little wiener roast then everyone would head back to Brandon before dark to finish out the night at the biker bar.
Sure enough as we are about half way to the event we come across a broken bike on the side of the road which is normal for these older Harley Davidson bikes. The biker who owns it is waiting for us to arrive and his fellow biker is waiting to with a Harley Davidson bike with a side car. This was good planning because the bikers can ride together with one on the bike and the other biker in the side car because that is not gay. They planned it that way because they knew I was traveling with 2 women. Everyone in the biker club knows that I have been asked to “take care” of Liz while her husband is deployed. Now how do we get the bike in the back of the 37 Dodge with no ramp because there is usually 6-7 people that help lift the bike up because we are traveling in a group. Of course the ladies say they will help which they did. Tight painted on blue jean shorts and white tank tops with no bra on 2 ladies with stop traffic now. The bike was loaded right now and the fellows that stopped to help enjoyed the view too. We arrive at the little park and fire pit is going and the food is served for good times. Everyone has fun then it is time to head back to Brandon and we have to unload the bike at the biker’s house. Unloading will be easy because there will a board to be used as a ramp plus other bikers will being helping too. Once the bike is unloaded then the 3 of us head to the little apartment to clean up and in to clean clothes for going to the biker bar for an evening of fun. The only problem is that the little apartment has a little hot water tank so there is 3 of us but only enough hot water for 2 showers. Showering was then done as 2 people then 1 person showering and the hot water last but some time ran out so showers had to be quick. When dealing with 2 women you do not ask questions or make plans because women will always will always change it. If Naughty Natalie and I would shower first and make sure each other is clean. Then there is enough water for Liz to shower. As a man you do not pay attention to who is in and out of the bathroom because women will be in and out of the bathroom while one is showering or getting ready.
Of course this Saturday we are running behind for being at the biker bar and all 3 of us are rushing to get ready. There is a knock at the little apartment door and when I open it is the sister with her Disco Queens. The Disco Queens all have the hair spray hair from the 1980s which makes the hair stand up and out. I am in more shock then the sister because as I opened the door to the little apartment Naughty Natalie and Liz come out of the bathroom together with wet hair and wrapped in towels that barely cover their bodies. The first thing I said to myself is thank God Naughty Natalie is wearing a towel because she usually does not cover up when around the little apartment because she like being all natural. Now this is when everyone is quiet because the sister and I have nothing to do with each other because we lead totally different lives. The sister is first to speak by saying her car would not start and mother told me the address. That is when Naughty Natalie asks her if she left the head lights on to drain that battery like last time. Of course the sister can’t answer the question. The Disco Queens are really enjoying looking at the 2 ladies wrapped in towels because the way the Disco Queens dress you can not tell if they are male or female. I tell the sister to walk back to her car and she gives me the address of where it is located which is the Disco Bar.
Naughty Natalie and Liz are ready in no time because they don’t wear any make up because both of them are all natural beauty. Plus the clothes they wear is just the tight painted on blue jean shorts and white tank top with a bra tonight. We drove over to the Disco Bar in the 37 Dodge which we have done many times before helping the sister out. When Naughty Natalie opens the car door of the sister’s car. The head light switch is pulled out from the dash meaning the head lights have been left on like all other times in the past. Just a boost from the battery in the 37 Dodge to the battery in the sister’s car and it is up and running. This was a learning experience for Liz because Naughty Natalie handles all booster cables and starting of the sister’s car because I have to hold the booster cables on the battery of the 37 Dodge because the battery is behind the seat in such a small cab. As Naughty Natalie is putting the booster cables away and checking over the sister car to make sure the battery is getting charged. The sister is talking with about making it back home the pink house in Alexander that I grew up in but moved out last summer. Liz sees that the collar on my jacket is not laying flat from being in the small cab of the 37 Dodge hooking up the booster cables. That is when Liz uses her left hand to reach up and adjust my collar to lay flat. Of course the big shiny ring is now in full view for the sister to see. The sister zooms in on the big shiny ring with her eyes and Liz can see this. To upset the sister even more Liz moves her hand down on to my chest so the sister can really see the size of the big shiny ring. Plus the Disco Queens gather around anything that is shiny and have a good look. I did not say a thing and Liz tells the sister that I gave her the engagement ring which is really her wedding ring from her husband. Now the shocked look on the sister’s face and the Disc Queens was priceless and nobody says a word. The sister is running things through her head very quickly because I hang out with Naughty Natalie but in the two years we are never considered boyfriend – girlfriend. Now I am engaged to Naughty Natalie older sister because they look like sisters. That is when Naughty Natalie joins in to say that she will share me with her older sister. The sister and the Disco Queen just about fell over and I knew it was time to go to the biker bar to finish out the evening of fun. I know the sister will be wanting to drive back home to the pink to tell mother of my wrong doings right away.
We all get in the 37 Dodge and head to the biker bar to relax but we arrive late and the party is just about over. The ladies have a few drinks and a few dances on the dance floor which every enjoys the show as they say. For some reason when a white tan top is worn under the black lights on the dance floor it gives a whole new meaning to the word sexy. Being colour blind I really can not see the difference and I tell everyone the white tank tops looks good under any lighting conditions. Nobody real feels like partying later that night so after the biker bar closes we head back to the little apartment to watch a little TV and eat pizza. It was a busy long day for us and felt so good to relax. For a small city Brandon has the most pizza places per capital then anywhere else. When I was drunk one night I counted the pizza places only in the yellow pages which just open up at 4pm in the afternoon. These sell only pizzas no other food and there was 32 listed. That is a lot of pizza places to chose from. The ladies order the pizza and they know I do not care as long as it is a Canadian pizza with pineapples on it for toppings. Now like in all great pornographic movies the pizza deliver kid always gets teased and dragged in the movies. The little apartment is no different but just the tease and no pono. The poor pizza deliver kids that come to the little apartment must flip coins to see whose turn it is to deliver our pizza. If Liz is not with us in the little apartment then Naughty Natalie will answer the door. The young kid gets to see her cleavage then she will drop the money and bend over to pick it up in the tight painted on blue jean shorts. Or just answer the door in a small bath towel because she is done wearing clothes for the day and will be all natural in the little apartment. We find the pizza is delivered a lot quicker once Naughty Natalie started to tease the young pizza delivery kids. If Liz is staying with us then Naughty Natalie will answer the door and ask the amount which she already knows when the pizza ordered was phoned in. Then she will go in the bedroom and Liz comes out with the money. They look the same except for the black hair has now changed to blonde and Liz being a married women will have the towel showing less skin in certain areas. As we enjoy the pizza the ladies always have a good laugh at the expressions of the young pizza delivery kids. I just hide in the bedroom while this is all going on. I can remember being that young and seeing real life ladies dressed like that for the first time which is a lot different then the Playboy Magazine I was enjoying and learning from.
A Sunday in the little apartment if we were not traveling or working was clean the place and do laundry. The little apartment had it’s own washer and dry which was really nice so the laundry was done quickly instead having to haul the laundry else where to do it. Plus on a relaxing Sunday Naughty Natalie preferred to wear less and less clothes or none at all while doing the chores around the little place. At first when Liz starting hanging around with us Naughty Natalie would wear some clothes to cover up a bit in front of another woman but in the end Naughty Natalie only wore her clothes to go out. Liz being older then us did not mind because a woman’s body is natural beauty which is a form of art. Being a man I got used to seeing her all natural and I would notice her more when she wore clothes. By mid afternoon we would head to the store and shop for food supplies for the coming week because it will busy work week. Liz would buy her food supplies too and pick up anything she need to survive a week on the military base. Once we dropped our supplies off at the little apartment we would stop by the movie place to rent several movies which we will watch at Liz’s place on the military base. To get the good movies on a Sunday we had to wait till late afternoon for them to be returned from being rented out on Saturday night. With everything purchased including the snacks for watching the movies we head to Shilo military base to the PMQ that Liz and her husband are assigned to live in. The drive is usually boring but the 37 Dodge gets to pass a few cars on the road which makes the trip a little more exciting because there is a lot of Sunday drivers out enjoying the Low Road to Shilo as it is called.
We arrive at the gate to the military base which we have to sign in. The guard comes out of the little guard house in the middle of the road with a clipboard. I sign for being the driver, Naughty Natalie sitting in the middle of the 37 Dodge signs for being a guest then the clip board is handed to Liz sitting on the passenger side of the truck. Liz signs the clipboard and puts in the PMQ address and other details because she is a resident of the military base. Once the guards gets the clip board back from us he writes in other detail. He then ask Naughty Natalie and I our length of stay which we reply as over night. The guards marks it on the clip board then says we can drive on to the base. We arrive at Liz’s PMQ and park the 37 Dodge in the driveway then carry all our purchases in to the house. All the neighbours are watching because Liz and her husband are newly transferred to the base but he is never around. But this hot rod truck comes and goes plus stays over night. We learned very early on returning Liz back to the military base do not to leave at midnight or later to return back to Brandon. The guards at the guard shack phone the cops and we get pulled over and checked out. Yes we have alcohol on our breathe but we only drank 2 beers and are legal to drive. Plus hanging out with Liz and her husband who own a Harley Davidson bike and are known members of the biker’s cub in Brandon. This red flags us to the cops as being bad boys and involved with drugs. Trying to explain to the Military Police and the cops that we are not in to the drugs and this biker club is more like a British Gentleman’s Club. Plus we would be the last people to be transporting drugs because we stand out as the ones that would be doing it. We learned very quickly just to stay the night because the authorizes trying to bust us can ruin Liz’s husband’s military career very quickly. Alos it is at the height of the Cold War and the USA Air Forces has nuclear missiles just across the border from Shilo. Being this close to the nuclear missiles makes Shilo base on the highly watched list to see what everyone is doing because the Soviet Spies could be us.
Naughty Natalie and I enjoyed staying at the PMQ with Liz on a Sunday nights and watching movies because both our places of work could not find us to call us in for work. Plus Liz and her husband had the latest in big screen TV and VHS movie player. Since the posting of the job for Liz’s husband was short term they never unpacked anything because they could be leaving quickly to the posting of the job and military base they want. But until then just unpack what is needed. Naughty Natalie and Liz are putting her supplies away and I’m getting the movies ready to watch when there is a knock at the door and I yell to the ladies that I will answer the door. When I answer the door it is the Military Police better known as the MP. This group of law enforcement you do not screw around with because the Military Police make the USA State Trooper look like a bunch church choir ladies. A Canadian cop will whack you with the Billy Stick and you give the correct answer. The USA State Trooper will shoot you “once” and has you lay there bleeding you can give the correct answer. The Military Police are trained to shoot you with all bullets in the gun and before you die due to loss of blood you can give the correct answer. The MPs walk right past me and enter the house because it is military property not anyone else. That is when Naughty Natalie and Liz come from the kitchen and the last MP through the door has escorted me to the middle of the house. The lead MP asks for Liz’s husband and Liz because that is what is on the sheet of paper as people who are assigned to the PMQ. Liz say that she is Liz and her husband is on deployment. Then the lead MP asks when her husband while return then Liz politely replies that the MP department will know that info. Then the lead MP asks about the Harley Davidson bike parked in the empty dinning room. Liz calmly states that her and her husband were to be issued a PMQ with a garage for the bike to be parked in but we got this PMQ with no garage. The bike is safely stored with battery disconnected and gas tank seal. Then she quickly tells the lead MP to drop off the form “such and such with a 20 digit number” and her husband will fill it out when he returns. Then one of the MP asks for the form and the info again because he is trying to write it down. Liz has to say it about 5 times for the MP to get it all written in his note book. Being a trained police officer these numbers and details should be easy to remember and write down because the military is all numbers and forms. As Liz is telling the form info over and over that is when I realized how smart she is and has down this numerous times. First the MPs are caught off guard with her being an natural blonde that can speak professionally and she controls the conversation with quick answers that give all details. Plus there is no form “such and such” to allow a Harley Davidson bike to be in a PMQ and the reason the MP can not write out the form info because it is not a military number to start with. It is a distraction which will they will give up on because in mid1980s the computers were just becoming popular. The form info could be easily found on the new computers in the year 2020. But these MPs would have to look through filing cabinets to find the form which might be under the housing division of the military or under transportation because the bike is a motor vehicle. Any one looking for the form will give up and not worry about it. Now I knew Liz was very smart and I just smiled as I stood there.
With Liz now in control of the situation the lead MP asks if Naughty Natalie and I are family which was worded in a very open way. Liz replied back with a simple “yes” because Naughty Natalie and Liz look like sisters but with different hair colour and Liz looking older. Plus I look like a 14 year old boy and I hope that Naughty Natalie will not speak up and say that I am “Virgin” which makes me so mad. The MPs take one last look around and they leave with no more questions. The lead MP looks me in the eye and tells me to take care of my older sisters. With that comment I had a hard time keeping my mouth shut. In the world of the military when the man of the house is on deployment, the oldest son becomes the man and this is part of military life because it shapes the young man to being responsible. When the MPs are gone out of the driveway of the PMQ that is when everyone relaxes and the ladies have a good laugh about me taking care of my older sisters. I am still mad because I will always be considered as a young boy because I do not look my age. Naughty Natalie come over to cheer me up but putting my face in her cleavage but it is a good thing were are not siblings because this would be so wrong.
We enjoy the movies on the Liz’s big screen TV which she jokes that it is so big and heavy that only the moving companies that move the military families around can handle it. After the movies are done, Liz has a shower first then goes to bed and Naughty Natalie and I will follow. I like the PMQ houses because the military buys one size of hot water heater tanks for each building. The PMQs have super large hot water heater tanks so the hot water never runs out like in the little apartment. We can enjoy long hot showers to make sure each other is very clean. Once the showering is complete then we join Liz in her big bed since there is no other bed in the PMQ. It is simple rules as in the little apartment with boys on the outside and girls in the middle. If sometime during the night her husband return then he is sleeping on the outside of the bed on Liz’s side. It is OK to have the girls sleep in the middle because if they touch each other during the night then that is OK but if the boys touch each other that is so wrong. Since only the Soviet Spies know when any of the military husbands will return from deployment it is always a surprise when Liz’s husband returns. Being military he is trained to be quiet and does not wake up anyone in the house. It is not till Naughty Natalie and I wake up at 6am to head home is when we see Liz’s husband in bed with her and we are extra quiet not to wake them up. Plus being military her husband might have been up for 72 hours straight and needs the sleep. The military life was never talked about with her or her husband because those are the unspoken rules. Naughty Natalie and I just viewed as he is serving our country and he ask me to “take care” of his wife Liz. Travel back to Brandon is nice because the military base is awake early in the morning so we do not have to drive the 37 Dodge quietly on the base and arrive at the guard shack to sign out. Then it is a quick trip to Brandon to return to our boring life of working.
The Birthday Party
A biker’s birthday was an excuse for everyone to have a good time and get drunk plus behave in theory. I had to work late on the Saturday that the birthday party was held on which was OK. A biker bar full of drunk women is not as much fun as they feature in the Playboy Magazine. I timed it perfectly to arrive at closing time which I thought was very good. I would have a big pay-cheque from working all this over time hours plus I did not spend a bunch of money in the bar with the ladies. Naught Natalie and Liz are officially drunk but they still have all their clothes on which is good. When the ladies drink the clothes usually fall off for some reason which men seem to enjoy. I get the drunk ladies in the 37 Dodge and I know we are going to Shilo military base where Liz and her husband live. She got word that her husband might be coming home tonight. Unless she got the info from the Soviet Spies then there is 99% chance it is false. I have not had any alcohol at all tonight because I do not want the booze smell on my breath going on the military base. As we drive out to the Shilo base I am on my best behavior because the cops will be watching out for the 37 Dodge because it is known to hang around with the bikers and tonight was a biker birthday party. The drive to Shilo was uneventful and we pull in to the pizza place before the military base to pick up the pizza that Naughty Natalie had ordered by phone from the biker bar before I pick them up. At the pizza place, Naughty Natalie and Liz go in to in together to get the pizza. I watched them and that is when I realized how drunk they were but could still function. They return with the pizza and tell them both to behave when we get to the guard house at the main gate to get in to the military base.
When we arrive at the guard house I remind them both to behave and be quiet. The guard comes out with the clip board and I sign myself in but Naughty Natalie and Liz are too drunk for even for the simple X on the paper but they are quiet which is a good thing. I had memorized the military information Liz was signing by her name so I wrote it down. Then the guard checked the truck over and seen the 12 pack of beer in the back of the truck. We never took more then that on to the Shilo base because any more would mean we are partying. The guard then asked me if that was all the beer and I said yes because it is only for the 3 of us. Once I said that Naughty Natalie being drunk tells the guard that I am not of legal age to drink and her and Liz will be drinking it. The guard then asked Naughty Natalie how many beers each that will be as a test to see how drunk she is. Naughty Natalie was so drunk she came up with every number except the correct number of 6 each plus Liz was no help either. The guard felt sorry for me driving my drunk sisters around and was going to let us on the base until Naughty Natalie had to tell him that I am still a “Virgin”. That is when I officially died sitting in the truck because the guard is now going along with drunk Naughty Natalie. The guard was just laughing because now I’m a “Virgin” driving my drunk sisters around. When he was laughing really hard he said we could drive on to the base and make sure we go directly to the PMQ. I drove the 37 Dodge to the PMQ with the 2 drunk ladies in the truck giving me directions on how to find the place which were totally wrong in the first place.
We arrive and I get the drunk ladies in the PMQ and they are very quiet about doing it. The ladies have to use the bathroom because all the beverage they drank plus the 30 minutes it took to arrive at the PMQ. Of course both ladies are in the bathroom together and I yell at them to keep their clothes on because we will be having visitors arriving very shorty. The last thing I need to deal with is visitors and 2 drunk ladies that have decided that wearing cloth all day is officially done for them. Sure enough there are lights in the drive way and I go the bathroom door as the drunk ladies come out now I am putting their clothes back on. Liz asks me to open the door to see who the visitors are. This is sobering her up very quickly because she has had this happen before. I open the door only to be pushed back in the main area by 4 military police officers better known as MPs. The lead MP asked for Liz and her husband by name and Liz being drunk says that is me. Then the lead MP asks where her husband is which she replies ask the Soviet Spies. That is when I knew this was going to turn very bad because in the few short months of known Liz and her husband. This was the 6th time they have knocked on the door and ask questions but this is the first time Liz is drunk and will not be in control. This is the situation the Military Police have waited for and wanted for a long time but I’m sober which is a good thing. Now with Liz giving smart ass answers she has opened a can of worms but she is drunk and is tired of these visits. Now the lead MP asks me where these ladies got drunk because in theory they are my older sisters. I reply back at the biker birthday party in Brandon which you can not lie about because Naughty Natalie and Liz were seen there plus the 37 Dodge truck was seen there too. Then the next question asked was how did they get here. I replied back I drove them which was a big surprise because I look 14 years old. With that reply the lead MP walked over to me and could smell the beer on my breath because I was thirsty and drank a beer quickly while the ladies were in the bathroom. The lead MP asked how many beers I had and I told him I had one which I drank here and pointed to the 12 back of beer on the table with an empty beer bottle beside it. Then the lead MP started to ask me another question and Naughty Natalie speaks up saying to be nice to me because I’m 14 years old and a “Virgin” little brother to them. Now I just stand there in shock that she has now opened another can of worms with these tough ass MPs like Liz did with her smart ass comment. Naughty Natalie tells the lead MP that her and Liz were too drunk to drive so they had the “Virgin” drive. She then says that I did a lot better driving then her or Liz would have done drunk. Then when we arrived here we let the “Virgin” have one beer because he did a good job. I just stand there and listen to the deep hole these 2 drunk ladies are digging us in to. Plus I use my Sesame Street Math to figure out that the MPs with 4 guns will equal about 12 bullets holes in each of us. That means I will only have about 45 seconds of life left before all my blood exits my body after they shoot us for the smart ass answers being given to the questions asked.
Now the lead MP is asking question about the Harley Davidson bike in the empty dinning room of the house. As he motions to touch the bike we all said at the same time “do not touch the bike”. Then the lead MP leans over to touch the bike again and we all say it louder “do not touch the bike”. The lead MP just looks at us and smiles. Then this time he is going to touch the bike and that is when Liz yells at him not to touch the bike because he will be dead when her husband returns. Now the lead MP is looking at her very surprised for raising her voice to him. Liz stands in front of him putting her hands under her boobies and pushes them up in front of him. Liz tells the lead MP he has a greater chance of living if he touches these. Some people can not figure out you do not touch a man’s Harley Davidson bike for some reason. Now the lead MP is really looking at Liz holding her boobies up high. As he looking at her boobies she says that the bike is safe with the gas tank sealed with the battery disconnect. They were suppose to get a PMQ with a garage which they did not. I know she has said the same thing over and over about the bike and she can even say it drunk with out any troubles. Now that she has the full attention of the lead MP, she tells him to drop of the form “such and such” and says the long number for her husband who will fill it out when he returns. But this is not good enough for the lead MP and wants the bike taken outside. We all say “no” and we will not touch the bike. The lead MP then tells me to push the bike outside and I reply back that I do not want to die a “Virgin”. Naughty Natalie has been too quiet which means like a small child when it is too quiet something bad is happening. When I look over at Naughty Natalie she eating pizza in front of the 3 MPs but is picking the pineapple off the pizza which leaves a long cheese string. This long cheese string is now being control by her tongue as she lowers the pineapple in to her mouth to be eaten. The 3 MPs watch how talented she is with her tongue and can twirl the cheese string around and around. I just say to myself at least she is keeping 3 MPs amused.
When the lead MP demands that bike be taken out the PMQ for safety reasons that is when Liz now takes her hands from holding her boobies up to being on top. The lead MP is now watching and has forgot what he was asking everyone to do. The other MPs are still watching Naughty Natalie eat pizza one pineapple piece at a time. I know exactly what Liz is now doing to create a distraction so the lead MP loses interest in the bike. She will become a magician and remove her bra while still wearing the white tank top. She will create an illusion that the male eyes think they see her bare boobies but in the end they see nothing. Liz now slide both of her hands down her cleavage and comes stop at the end. Her hands slide the white tank top down but her hands are covering her bra so the male eyes are not really seeing anything. Her bra has a front clasp which she unhooks using her thumbs while her hands cover the bra. Once the bra is undone then she slides the bra up with her hands and the white tank top slides back up to cover her boobies. Then she slides her hands up her cleavage bring the bra along too. Now she uses her hands to slide the white tank top shoulder straps off her shoulders only leave the bras straps on her shoulders. There is nothing really holding the white tank top up or to keep it from falling down other then the fact the material of the white tank top is hooked on her hard nipples like hanging a jacket on a nail in the wall. This is when all male eyes are focus on her because a little wind or extra gravity could make the white tank top fall to expose her bare boobies. Liz now frees the bra straps from her shoulders and then slides the white tank top shoulder straps back on. The white tank top is no longer at risk of falling and all males take a deep breath. She now pulls the bra out from under the white tank top and holds it in front of me which all MPs now focus in on. Then she slowly slides it over my head until it is well balanced on my head with one bra cup covering my face. As Liz is doing this she reaches over with her other hand to use her fingers to retrieved a piece of pineapple from the pizza that Naughty Natalie dropped on to her cleavage. Liz then shows the MPs that her tongue has just as much talent as Naughty Natalie’s tongue when eating pineapple for the pizza. Yes bra cup is big enough to cover my face and I can not see which is a good thing because I won’t be able to see the 12 bullets coming to end my life because the MPs have had enough.
It is all quiet in the PMQ and the lead MP speaks and says thank you Liz for her time and now the 4 of the MPs exit the PMQ as if they are the Keystone Cops comedy routine. We are very quiet to make sure the MPs have all left because they might pop back thinking we are hiding drugs or something. I just stand there with Liz’s bra on my face thinking how smart these drunk ladies are. Those MPs came here bust our asses and left bumbling idiots all because they got distracted by the natural beauty of women. They waited a long time to drop in when everyone was drunk. Being drunk they would be able to bust everyone even if they created the conflict by moving the bike which did not need to be moved. I think to myself with the bra cup covering my face that I hope Liz’s husband does not walk in right now while I have his wife’s bra covering my face. The first thing he would say to me “i asked you to “”take care”” of my wife and I come home to this”. My reply would be “at least the bra is not on the floor”. Now Naughty Natalie comes over and removes Liz’s bra from my head and ask me to lick the cheese from the pineapple that Liz removed off her cleavage. I say nothing because I’m beyond being mad because I am pissed for being called a “Virgin” in front of everyone. Naughty Natalie then ask me again to lick the cheese of her cleavage and pulls my face in to her cleavage. I do nothing and she pull my face out of her cleavage then say she is sorry for call me a “Virgin” but I can play the tricks of a woman. I say nothing then she says she sorry again and then I smiles as she lower my face in to her cleavage to lick the cheese off which I did. The drunk ladies have had enough partying and it is time to go to bed. The only problem the shower is giving Liz nothing but problems because she is too drunk. After the MPs left she drank a bunch of hard booze to calm her nerves because it could have turned very bad for all of us. Naughty Natalie was not much help in the bathroom helping Liz and I ended up in to the bathroom to get the drunk naked ladies showered and off to bed before they get hurt. The last thing we needed was the ambulance and the MPs coming because someone got hurt. After I clean up the PMQ and drink a few beers to relax. I have a quick shower because I worked all day and then having to deal with these drunk ladies. I got in to bed but never paid attention to how the two the ladies are sleeping in Liz’s bed because her husband can return at any minute day or night. I wake up in the morning and sometime after I went bed her husband showed up and went to bed. He is on his side the bed and I’m on my side and the ladies are waking up with big hang overs and hurting heads plus naked. The last thing I was going to do was trying and put clothes on them or keep clothes on because that is next to impossible with Naughty Natalie when she decides to relax.
I get up and make coffee and one by the one they slowly come out of the bedroom and the person in the worst shape is Liz’s husband due to lack of sleep while he was away plus he is all confused on the days and times. He seems to have the worse hang over then the ladies but never drank. All he said to me was thank you for “taking care” of his wife and his bike. Then he went back to bed without finishing his coffee. Naughty Natalie and I just relaxed on the couch watching movies while Liz and her husband sleep it off in the bedroom. Both ladies were hurting big time. By late afternoon Liz joined us on the couch and she was so embarrassed at what happened in the bathroom. I told her I was asked to “take care” of her so seeing her nake and helping her before she hurt is part of “taking care” is no big deal. She then looks right at me and her face is turning red from embarrassment she quietly says ‘now you know that I am a true blonde”. I quietly told her that being colour blind I could see that. That made Liz smile. Naughty Natalie just smiled at me too as we all relaxed on the couch. Around supper time Naughty Natalie and I head back to the little apartment in Brandon and Liz is home alone with her husband who still can not wake and function because of the lack sleep and time zone changes. I drive the 37 Dodge softly for Naughty Natalie because her head hurts from too much booze last night. When we go through the main gate to leave Shilo the guard on duty just came on shift and he was one the sign us in last night. He had a good laugh at Naughty Natalie who was sitting on the passenger side of the 37 Dodge in very rough shape and felt like she was going to die. Once back in the little apartment I got things ready for the work week while Naughty Natalie went to bed she was very sick. Plus I remained a “Virgin” for almost 2 more nights because she was that sick and was not in the mood to cuddle. She did say she was almost as sick when she and I drank dad’s bottle of Johnny Walker Scotch that he had been saving. Now that bottle made us both really sick and dad was more mad that we threw up the booze and wasted it because we were that sick.
Liz invites us out on a Thursday night to Shilo for a little BBQ where she works because she does not want to go alone. Naughty Natalie and I say no problem in going with her and this means her husband is deployed again. We never ask or talk about him or where he is because he is doing his job serving in the military in Canada. When Naughty Natalie and I arrive on Thursday evening at the Shilo main gate at the base we sign in staying the night because it is not worth the risk driving back to Brandon late at night with the cops always on the look out for us. We pick up Liz and one thing I like about these 2 ladies is they are always ready when it is time to go because their beauty is all natural and no make up is needed. Plus they do not wear much for clothes which makes easy to get dressed. I know the place where the BBQ is being held and as we drive past the under ground bunker on the military base the Military Police pull us over. This is not good but it is a wide spot in the road. The Military Police better known ad MP have two officers per cop car. One officer walks up each side of the 37 Dodge and the one office on my side asks how we are doing. I reply good and that is all. He then asks all of us to get out of the truck and walk to the back of the truck. We are to stand off to the passenger side for safety from the traffic. Naughty Natalie was smart and grabbed the Playboy Magazine from under the seat with the important papers for the truck. Being under the seat in the USA when we visited caused a bit of tension when she went to get the magazine. Now the 3 of us are standing behind the truck and the lead MP ask for identification which we all had. I pull out my wallet from my back pocket to get my driver’s license. While the ladies slide one hand in the tight pockets on those tight painted on blue jean shorts. Of course both MPs are watching the 2 ladies do it with the same hands and same pockets to get identification. I hand my driver’s license to the lead MP and he looks it over and ask my age. I reply back 18 years old and he questions that because I look 14. I know by the look on his face he is not happy. Then he moves over to Naughty Natalie and looks at her driver’s license and ask her age. She replies back 18 and he hands her driver’s license back to her. Next he moves over to Liz and looks at her identification because she has no driver’s license and does not want to get one. The lead MP ask Liz her age she replies back with 27 and that surprised everyone. The lead MP asked her again and she replied back 27 with a smile. Naughty Natalie and I are in shock because she is almost 10 years older then us and we thought she was only 5 years older then us. The lead MP complemented her on looking a lot younger then her age. With that Naughty Natalie and I gave Liz a little applause of our hands to show we are happy for her. This did not impress the MPs at all and the dirty look on their faces made us stop right now because we thought we are at mother’s house.
Now the lead MP returns back to me asks how much I paid for this fake driver’s license and told him $35.00 at the driver’s license office in down town Brandon. He told me nice try and give him the correct answer. I told him was the correct license the office gave me. The lead MP then holds my driver’s license up to show me the year of my birth which is 1967 has lots of rub marks on the 7 as if to make it from a 9. I politely told him those rub marks are from all you cops rubbing the 7 to see it was a 9 like what you just did with your finger nail. As he looked at me I told him to flip it over and look at the 9 on the back because the 9 is curved and a 7 is straight. Then I explained to him that a Manitoba issued driver’s license is paper and not protected in any way. Plus there is no picture identification because Manitoba is way behind compared to other provinces in Canada. The lead cop then asks to see my other identification in my wallet. I only have my Social Insurance Number card but no date, signature or picture on it. The lead MP is not impressed and tells this is fraud having a fake driver’s license. When he started saying that I looked over at Naughty Natalie and Liz because we were no longer in Canada but a military base which has strict rules. The look on the 2 ladies was not good because we all might end up in jail and Naughty Natalie were those tight painted on blue jean shorts along with Liz. Now everyone will know the colour of their under wear. In the mid 1980s the military has no gays serving. It would have been pointless for me unbuttoning my shirt to expose my one chest hair to the lead MP to see in hopes of him being gay and let us go. It works for the ladies and their cleavage because that is natural beauty in the form of art. Now the lead MP is really asking questions and getting a little carried away because I can not come up with anything that shows my age. Plus the lead MP keeps saying my last name over and over which is Barnes. The lead MP say it rings a bell but can not place that name. I take a few minutes to get focused and look over that the ladies who are now getting worried looks on their faces.
I told the lead MP that the name Barnes is the name of the higher up person in the German division of the Military Police on the Shilo base. With that the lead MP’s memory kicked in and it all came back to him which made him happy. Now I asked him to get another member of the MP to go to that office and bring back “my” graduation photo that is on the left hand shelve of the person’s desk named Barnes. The lead MP was very surprised because standing in front of him was a fellow driving a hot rod truck wearing Heavy Metal Band tee shirts and blue jeans. Who would know nothing of the military police plus the German division is a total surprise to everyone. Naughty Natalie is all happy because she gets to see “my” graduation picture because she was working that day. Liz was even more surprised that I even graduated because I looked like the person who spent a several years in grade 3. Now the lead MP is asking us lots of question on who we are what we are doing. Liz only tells the minimum amount they need to know about the PMQ and other military information about her husband. Naughty Natalie and I do not really say anything because they do not need to know. It seems like forever for “my” graduation picture to arrive. The traffic on the street where we are stopped on has increased big time because people are driving by to see the all the excitment. A hot rod truck and 2 ladies wearing tight painted on blue jean shorts and white tank tops with all natural beauty that makes them look like Playboy Magazine centre folds.
The next problem we have waiting with the MPs is the Shilo base hosts the west German Army for training and there are a lot of German soldiers on base. This is good for the surround communities because the German soldiers buy lots of items to take back home because the Cold War is still going on. A group of German solider off duty will walk everywhere and they stand out in the crowds because of the short hair cuts, brand new blue jeans and carrying plastic shopping bags with the square record albums in the bag. In Canada we have switched to cassette players to listen to music but back in Germany they still had the record players. The MPs have us stopped beside the main walk way through the Shilo base. The German soldiers in uniform and out of uniform are walking by in groups. When they see the 37 Dodge hot rod truck, they want a picture of the truck and with the ladies too. The first couple of pictures were OK with the ladies then the German soldier wanted pictures of themselves with the hot rod truck and the ladies. The lead MP had to call in for other MPs to guard us because word traveled fast and the crowds were increasing. The way the 2 ladies looked and dressed the German soldiers thought that the ladies took their clothes off for money and did other bad things. The ladies were not impressed plus we were all getting hungry because we were suppose to be at the BBQ.
Finally “my” graduation picture arrives and is handed to the lead MP which he looked at and then looked a me. In the picture are the 3 awards and diploma which is dated June of that year which shows I am of legal age. Naughty Natalie just laughs seeing the picture for the first time because I am wearing my dad’s suit. I was in Alberta and the company flew me back to get the wards on stage at the graduation to make dad and mother happy. I was only in Brandon less then an hour because the pilot of the company plane has crashed it 3 times last year with me in it. The last 2 crashes he did with me were at night because he was not trained for night flying. We had to get back to Alberta before dark because I had to work in the morning on the job site. Liz looks closely at the picture and ask about the 3 awards. I told her they mean nothing to me like my diploma. Having these does not make me a better person because they are things I am not proud of. These items have never been displayed or talked about and have always been packed away. Liz was very surprise and I told her I have lots of secrets like her being an older woman. She just smiled. Naughty Natalie knows who I am and likes me for who I am. Now the lead MP is happy that I am old enough and I told him to make sure “my” graduation picture is put back or mother will not be happy. This might explain why mother does not like the life style I am leading because the office of the Military Police has be investigating the people I hang around which is the biker club. My life style will effect her job on the base because she has high security clearances to even visit the under ground bunker which is on the base in case there is a nuclear war. But mother only see whats she wants to see and hear. That is why we just stay a part from each other.
We thought it was all over and we could go on our way but the lead MP was having too much fun. He then asked to see the registration of the 37 Dodge. Naughty Natalie was so glad he finally asked because she had been holding the rolled up Playboy Magazine from under the seat for over an hour. She unrolled the Playboy Magazine and everyone looked including Liz. Naughty Natalie hands the registration for the 37 Dodge to the lead MP. Who studies it in details but never asked who Bradley was because the that is my birth name. That is when I realized that the lead MP was not as smart he was portraying himself to be. All graduation items are in Bradley and my driver’s license is in Joey. At this point in the game I am not going to point this out to him. The lead MP say we can finally leave because they have 3 cop cars on traffic and crowd controls because everyone is coming down to see the hot rod truck and the ladies. I get in the 37 Dodge and the ladies get in on the passenger side of the truck. Then the lead MP is at my window and says one of the ladies has to ride with him because the truck is not made for 3 people in such a small cab. I did not say a word and looked at Naughty Natalie who hands me a piece of paper for the Playboy Magazine centre fold. I past it to the lead MP and not say a word. The paper is a copy of the sale flyer for the 37 Dodge in 1937 stating the truck seats 3 comfortably as a sale pitch for the farmers to buy so they can take family to town to shop on Saturdays. The lead MP just smiles and hands the paper back which Naughty Natalie hands to Liz because she now has the Playboy Magazine and is looking at the pictures. The lead MP goes to walk away and turn quickly and asks if our seat belts are done up. Once again I say nothing and look at Naughty Natalie who then gets another piece of paper from the Playboy Magazine centre fold that Liz is looking at. The paper gets handed to the lead MP because it is copy of the Manitoba vehicles laws and requirement. On the paper is a paragraph that is circled stating that seat belts are required on vehicles 1974 and newer. The lead MP just smiles and hands the paper back to me and I hand it back to Naughty Natalie who puts back in the centre fold. With that the lead MP finally walks back to his vehicle. I start the 37 Dodge and drive slow to Liz’s PMQ and park in the driveway. We all agreed it would be a waste of time going to the BBQ only to have the MPs chase us down coming back to the PMQ. Plus we all agreed that the lead MP sure wanted one of the ladies to ride in the cop car as a trophy to show off. The ladies all agreed that the German fellows being a way from home acted pretty good and were friendly in their broken English. But the whole night was a disaster all because some MP trying to make a name for himself. We found out the night of 20 questions with the Military Police got the word got out that the 37 Dodge was connected to someone higher up in the department. It best not to being pulling it over because harassment charges can be laid pretty quick.
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